From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"

"I don't know, bud, what?"

"Your legs."

Well done, kid.

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📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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What shakes at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck

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👤︎ u/ccasson
📅︎ Jan 31 2021
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Q from our Fishkeeping Group: What does it mean if my fish stays at the bottom of the tank?

A: Maybe it's feeling a bit low...

(Got me a screenshot of my epic slayage to prove it too! https://i.imgur.com/FPCvglr.png )

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👤︎ u/quintinza
📅︎ Feb 11 2021
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I found a knife at the bottom of my ornament box (no idea why) so I picked it up and announced “‘twas the knife before Christmas!”
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📅︎ Dec 13 2020
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Somebody wrote a quote at the bottom of the pool.

It was deep.

👍︎ 55
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📅︎ Aug 04 2020
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I was pulling my trailer over a steep hill and just as I started going downhill the trailer passed me and crashed at the bottom of the hill.

I guess it went down without a hitch

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📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
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👤︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
📅︎ Jan 25 2020
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What do you call a boat at the bottom of the ocean that shivers?

A nervous wreck.

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👤︎ u/fl_ured
📅︎ Jul 08 2020
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I recently met with my therapist at the bottom of the ocean.

We had a very deep talk.

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👤︎ u/sooblek
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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Starting at the bottom
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📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

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📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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How did that guy end up at the bottom of the well in prison?

He felon

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👤︎ u/CoastalCon
📅︎ Mar 18 2020
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What did the staircase tell the man at the bottom?

I am many steps ahead of you.

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👤︎ u/votepledge
📅︎ Feb 10 2020
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This statement at the bottom of your Just-Eat receipt.
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👤︎ u/CBSpyDoge
📅︎ Jun 21 2019
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The lettuce at the bottom of our pan was frozen solid.

Coworker 1: Aw shucks looks like we got the wrong lettuce.

Coworker 2: What do you mean? It's the same lettuce we usually get.

Coworker 1: Nuh uh, this is clearly iceberg lettuce.

Badum tss

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📅︎ Dec 14 2019
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My computer science book has one at the bottom of every page
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👤︎ u/Tempsilon
📅︎ May 12 2019
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I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:

"We are putting comments under this post"

👍︎ 22
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📅︎ Apr 04 2019
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Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.

We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

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📅︎ Jun 23 2019
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They always say start at the bottom if you want to learn something.

Not the best way to learn to swim?

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👤︎ u/JK-BB
📅︎ Sep 06 2018
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What do you call a doctor that graduates at the bottom of his class?

Major

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👤︎ u/belly_bell
📅︎ Jan 06 2019
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Have you ever read the text at the bottom of a map?

It's the stuff of legends

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👤︎ u/PaxPaw
📅︎ Apr 19 2018
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What do you call 3 cats at the bottom of a swimming pool?

trois cat sank

edit: trois quatre cinq

edit: the cats are french

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👤︎ u/Innundator
📅︎ Nov 18 2018
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What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea?

Kelp! Kelp!

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👤︎ u/YummyKorea
📅︎ Aug 25 2017
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I was building a tower out of blocks and decided to use a box fan at the bottom

I call it my fan base

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📅︎ Feb 16 2017
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Following a bad breakup a bartender advised me that happiness lies at the bottom of a tequila bottle

I took it with a grain of salt

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👤︎ u/PaxPaw
📅︎ Jan 27 2018
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck

(for da best effect read in a nice piratey voice me lads)

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👤︎ u/JephriB
📅︎ Mar 07 2018
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What do you call a thousand outstanding lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

The Great Barrister Reef.

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📅︎ Jun 17 2016
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Did you hear about the fish dancing at the bottom of the lake?

Yeah, the were dancing a "crappie jig"

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📅︎ Mar 08 2017
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What do you call a med student that graduated at the bottom on their class?

Doctor

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👤︎ u/ravascodet
📅︎ Dec 04 2016
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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👤︎ u/lolyfe-dc
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 304
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📅︎ Jul 11 2020
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What has a bottom at the top?

Your legs.

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👤︎ u/lvrcerosis
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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Whats at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck

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📅︎ May 27 2020
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches ?

A nervous wreck

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📅︎ May 28 2020
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What do you call a twitching boat at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck

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📅︎ Feb 23 2020
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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👤︎ u/Aakshaj
📅︎ Jan 29 2020
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

👍︎ 14
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📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck

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👤︎ u/P4743
📅︎ Jun 21 2019
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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What's at the bottom of the sea and shivers?

A nervous wreck!!

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📅︎ May 22 2019
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What has a bottom at the top?

A leg.

👍︎ 30
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📅︎ Jul 31 2018
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 21
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📅︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/2donutkid2
📅︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What lays at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 14
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📅︎ Jul 07 2018
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