Got an email from the Alzheimer’s Association today
I don’t remember signing up on their mailing list.
Why isn't Uranium associated with Ukraine anymore?
Cause it lost decay
God im sorry
sad news.After 10 years as chairman of the Stilts Performers Association,
Ive decided to step down.
I love the name Gina so much that I'm debating whether to use it again on my second daughter...
I guess that would make her Regina.
the Origami Association went bust today.
They Folded this afternoon.
Had the best spur of the moment joke tonight.
Spilled red wine all over my side-couch table and the book I was reading.
My sister in law (over for the holidays) grabbed the book, (already soaked with Cabernet)
I told her “you can keep it, but it’s already half RED”
I was so proud of myself but got not a single chuckle.
I knew this was the place to report my major dad joke accomplishment.
Edit*
By the way, I work in hospice and the book was “
“Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. It’s an amazing read for anyone facing end of life. If it is you, or someone you love. Not to abuse my post,but it’s a best read!
I am in no way associated or benefiting from any sales of this book.
DNA stands for
National Association of Dyslexics
The vampire hunters' association had a community outreach program
they had to appeal to stakeholders.
The Associated Press announced today that Biden has promised $1.99 a gallon gas this month.
My neighbor is really into well manicured lawns and wants everyone to follow suit. In fact he is arguing for some sort of worldwide homeowners association
This holiday season, please donate to the National Association of Procrastinators (NAP)
They're way behind in meeting their fundraising goal before the end of the year. They don't have a fundraising progress chart available yet, but they're working on it.
I’m painting medical conditions
A beloved cartoon artist was found dead in their home today
Officers state that the details are sketchy
What happened to the "no pillars association"?
They didn't get a lot of support.
It's not easy being an employee at The Flat Bottom Association.
I've had to work my butt off.
Which federal agency came up with the five second rule?
The Food on Rug Administration
A guy with two left feet goes into a shoe store and asks one of the associates...
"Excuse me, but do you have any flip-flips?"
I'm a member of the American Medical Association, AMA.
My friend got attacked by a group of mimes
They did unspeakable things to him
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven’t released the name of the whistle-blower.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.
Joe Biden is reportedly looking to nominate geologists to be supreme associate justices
The news supports recent claims that he's trying to stack the quartz
What are the last words of the experienced mushroom picker?
"Damn, I've never eaten such a mushroom before."
What is the Tunnel Diggers Association's motto?
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...
From the Wikipedia article about the song Cherish by The Association.
Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?
Since flowers produce aroma, and flowers are typically associated with love, couldn't flowers be considered aromantic item?
"It's a pleasure to be here as the keynote speaker for 'The Purple Fruit Growers Association'" said Tom
I got voted in as Chairman of the Walkie-Talkie Association today
I own a kennel. Apparently, its conditions were so unsanitary that the UN had to get involved. When I came back from vacation, I asked my associate where all my animals had gone.
He replied "WHO let the dogs out."
"Who?"
"WHO"
"Who???"
"WHO"
I'll show myself out.
My neighbour lends people money, but refuses to take on partners or associates.
He's a lone-wolf loan-shark.
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.
She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
Why does the powerwalking association have a hard time electing a president?
I lied on my application for membership to the American Amputee Association
When they found out, I was dismembered.
Old man Art was planting flowers in his front yard. The homeowners’ association fined him $100.
Yard Art is strictly prohibited.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.
His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"
Today a saw building with a sign above the door saying DNA.
I was told its the National Dyslexic Association.
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
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