Artemis Fowl II Puns

How would Artemis react if he met Tony Stark?

I was pretty disappointed when I saw the trailer for Artemis Fowl. I always thought Hollywood was going to mess it up somehow, but I didn’t think it would be this severe.

Then, I started to come up with a theory. It’s probably wrong, but I’m not taking it very seriously.

The boy seen in the trailer is Artemis Fowl III, the son of Artemis Fowl II. They have different personalities because they are entirely different people. The SCP-like artifact collection was picked up by Artemis Fowl II long after the series ended. Artemis Fowl II never wanted Artemis Fowl III to take up such a dangerous life, so he kept him quiet about it.

The Butler seen in the trailer is not the Butler from the original series, but another member of the Butler family. This is why he isn’t Eurasian. Since the Butler family trains all over the world, it is plausible for them to have black family members.

Holly Short and Mulch Diggums show up to help Artemis Fowl III because they were friends with Artemis Fowl II.

Alternatively, Disney might be altering the story because they don’t want to alienate audiences by making a movie about a child criminal mastermind kidnapping fairies for gold.

Agent 47 has infiltrated Fowl Manor after being tasked with a quiet disposal of the final head of the Fowl crime family. However, after a mostly successful approach, he is spotted in the manor by the young Fowl's butler, Butler.

Round 1: Agent 47 has standard equipment for a quiet kill and only basic knowledge of Butler, Butler is carrying his cosh and Sig Sauer with no special knowledge of an intruder. Both in character in Fowl Manor.

Round 2: Agent 47 has come equiped for a more direct assult and now has detailed information on Butler's level of training and experience. Butler now knows that a well armed intruder is in the manor and has 15 minutes to gather any weapons or to position any members of the family to protect them. In character.

Round 3: Cage match, both completely unarmed and bloodlusted.

Bonus Round: Can Agent 47 kill the troll from the first Artemis Fowl book? Can Butler complete Agent 47's most difficult task?

DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH THE HITMAN UNIVERSE.

This two masterminds decide to conquer our Earth. They have no knowledge on each other, nor know each other's starting location.

Scenario starts in 2016-06-06.

Lelouch vi Britannia: Starts in United Kingdom with Suzaku Kururugi. He has his geass and 7 million USD of cash. No access to Britannian tech.

Artemis Fowl II: Starts in Japan with his butler and 140 million USD of cash. No access to fairy tech or fairies.

No government is aware of their goals. Both will try their best to succeed. They can use any strategy.

Round 1: Both Lelouch and Artemis in their best condition.

Round 2: Lelouch has no Geass.

Round 3: Same as round 1, but 1 day after their arrival, USA finds out that two people try to conquer the world but they don't know who or where they are.

Round 4: Artemis and Lelouch team up and start in North Korea. They can access fairy and Britannian tech (blueprints only). Can they take the world over?

I found Artemis Fowl to be way more readable and well written.

I think the thing is, PJ has an ensemble of kids as the MCs, where as AF only has one kid among the MCs.

I don't think any other series hits that sweet spot as well after HP.

I hope I made sense lol

1 - Low balled SCP

2 - Medium SCP

3 - High balled SCP

Salut tout le monde, y'a pas longtemps j'ai vu un post qui disait "relisez les bouquins qui vous plaisaient enfant", et je me suis dit "pourquoi pas ?"

J'ai emprunté le 1er tome de "Le Livre des étoiles" par Erik L'homme, et je lis ça le soir. Sauf que bon, avec mes yeux d'adulte je trouve ça assez mauvais ^^'

J'aimerais bien lire la fantaisy mais les seules refs qui me viennent en tête (LotR et GoT) me font pas hyper envie, un peu trop "sérieux" à mon gout

Qu'est-ce que je devrais lire pour retrouver des moments cools comme quand j'étais ado mais avec une qualité d'écriture qui me plairait maintenant ?

Merci pour votre aide :)

Edit : merci pour les réponses, je vais prendre le temps de creuser cette semaineVu que c'était demandé parfois, j'ai 28 ans et d'habitude je lis de la fiction "classique" (genre j'ai lu "les jeunes filles" y'a pas longtemps) ou des essais.

Edit 26/12 : du coup je me lance dans l'Assassin Royal :)

I was going to add the first Artemis Fowl novel tomorrow, but I'm finding the 'movie tie in' version available.

I am NOT a fan of the movie, and have the opinion they should have been true to the source material.. Will I be disappointed and find it differs from the original novel on my physical book shelf?

Artemis Fowl Jump v0.1

By blackshadow111, Rokoran

Essence META CYOA Part 1

Essence of Jumpchain:

Upon drinking this Essence, you have gained the ability to choose any origin, perk, or item that exists in Jumpchain. You have 5000 CP, and you can buy anything in Jumpchain at a discount. Things that cost 100 or less CP are not free and are discounted. Anything that is offered for free cost 100 CP, which is discounted to 50 CP. Getting an origin will not further discount any perks or items that relate to it. You can take any drawbacks up to +2000 CP from any jumps to get more CP, and these drawbacks will disappear after 10 years. You also have the ability to jump to any settings that exist in Jumpchain.

Age and Gender:

• Age: 13
• Gender: Male

Time and Place:

• Time: One year before Artemis Fowl Sr.'s disappearance
• Place: Manhattan, NY

Origins:

• Genius

Species:

• Human

Perks:

• Rule Breaker- 150 CP (Free Human)
• Warlock- 200 CP (Requires Magic, Discount Human)
• Thing of Wonder- 250 CP (Capstone Booster)
• Drop-in:

1. It Was a Troll- 50 CP
2. Mesmer-Proof Mind- 200 CP
3. I Ate Your Truffles- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

• Genius:

1. Boy Genius- 50 CP
2. Aurum Est Potestas- 100 CP
3. Fowl Schemes- 200 CP
4. Foaly? Koboi? Jumper- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

• LEPRecon:

1. Investigator- 200 CP
2. Commander- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

• Real Tough:

1. Consummate Professional- 50 CP
2. Situational Awareness- 100 CP
3. Blue Diamond- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

Items:

• Drop-in:

1. Fairy Gold- 50 CP
2. The Book- 300 CP
3. Satellites- 200 CP

• Genius:

1. Documentation- 50 CP
2. Manor- 100 CP

• LEPRecon:

1. IRIS Cam- 100 CP
2. Archive- 300 CP

• Real Tough:

1. Legend- 50 CP
2. Network- 300 CP

Companions:

• Canon Companion- 250 CP: 5 Slots

Drawbacks:

• Interesting Times +0
• Problematic Parent +200
• No Cheating +300
• Artemis’s Attention +400

As a book lover I've lurked this sub for awhile now and people really should check what age group the book was written for before reading them or making posts about how bad they are. Eragon, Cirque De Freak, Artimis Fowl, Divergent, Twilight, the list goes on and on. These books are meant for Young Adults and Teenagers. It's not a surprised if you read them at 27 and realize how bad they are.

They aren't bad books, they're just not books for you. It's okay to admit that and move on. Books have demographics just as much as TV and movies. An adult doesn't go to see the Wiggles and expect to have a good time (although they are surprisingly enjoyable) or critique their children's Saturday cartoons or their teenager's cringe werewolf romance drama show for being simplistic and predicable. It's great to them because it's for them. It's crap to you because you're never expected to watch it anyway. That's okay. There's really no need to tear those things apart in a reddit post.

Obviously there will be some adults who will still love YA books, shows, and movies. If that's you, please keep recommending them to people. It's not your fault if someone neglects to notice the YA or TV14 tag and ends up hating it.

Edit: I'm not saying "you're not the target audience" is an end all excuse so you can never say something is bad. Some books are indesputably bad. I believe that if you hold an opinion that contradicts what is widely accepted as true, then it's probably more about your personal preference than something being inherently bad. For instance, I hate Avengers movies and think they are full of crudely written dialogue and oversized casts where no character actually matters. Obviously the world disagrees with that opinion. I'm willing to look at that and say that Avengers isn't inherently bad, but it doesn't suit my preference. Try to look at books the same way. Even though something like Twilight can be torn to shreds for the author's poor writing, it is beloved and treasured by such a large audience it's obvious there was something there that made it great but didn't suit my taste so saying it's a bad book is simply not true. Pointing out flaws and saying something is bad are two different things.

Edit 2: The comments are pretty fun you should check them out. Admittedly most of them say I'm wrong and an idiot lol. But the others are filled with people saying a book is horrible and then others saying the same book is great. The only constant is that Divergent an

While not the best books in the world, the Artemis Fowl series is among my Top 10 favorite reads. I would strongly recommend it if you want to feel like a kid again. It is somewhere in the middle of a kids fairy tale book, and an adult's fiction novel.

Written by Eoin Colfer (I don't know how to pronounce it either), Artemis Fowl is a series of 8 books about 12 year old named, well, Artemis Fowl. He is a genius, having the highest IQ in Europe, is a multi-millionaire, and is a criminal mastermind, running the Fowl corporate crime enterprise. He becomes fascinated with the existence of fairies when he is trying to raise funds to find his lost father, believed to be dead when his transport ship blew up in Russia.

Read the book. You will not regret it.

As the title says, Im looking for a book and/or series like the Artemis Fowl series.

Basically, the premise Im looking for (or at least a very similar premise to this) is as follows; Child genius (preferably a rich kid genius like Artemis, but not necessarily a criminal - though that is just fine) finds and maybe befriends magical entities and has many adventures both with said magical creatures and on their own.

Pretty much looking for a story of a child genius with plenty of adventure and fantasy elements in it, bits of family life, and maybe - though not necessarily - even a romantic interest.

The name is not Artemis Fowl I can’t remember it, it has djinns and magic and is told from the perspective of I think a demon? I read it as a child but I’m not sure it was a childrens book. Definitely had summoning, pentagrams, all that good stuff and I think it was a series.

As the title says, Im looking for a series similar to Artemis Fowl. By similar, I mean that is is meant for teens and young adults and has a fantasy/adventure and/or scifi/adventure feel to it, and I wouldnt mind a bit of romance thrown in - just nothing too graphically described if you know what I mean. I'd also prefer that the story/series being suggested has real facts (i.e. bits of history, cultural facts, etc.) and makes you think - like the Artemis Fowl series does.

What I do NOT want though, are any stories with dark/horror/psychological/tragedy elements in them. The death of a friend or parent is okay as long as the story doesnt dwell on the fact any more than the Artemis Fowl series does. Ive read Anne McAffrey's The Tower and the Hive series, the Magic Ex Libris trilogy, and several other series, but Im looking for more.

Thanks for any and all helpful comments and suggestion! All the best to everyone and stay Healthy, Happy, and Safe!

So, as the title states, I recently did a re-read of the Artemis Fowl series, written by Eoin Colfer. I had read them when I was much younger and thoroughly enjoyed them, so recently I decided to read through them again. Plus, there was a couple of them that I hadn't read before. Here's how I would rank books 1-6, considering that I don't have books 7 or 8 and didn't feel like buying them.

1. The Eternity Code - This one really starts to mark the change of Artemis from a kid into a teenager and he faces a tremendous amount of adversity in this book. His relationship with Holly, Foaly, and co. really starts to change into a true friendship by the end of the book. He has to come up with the ultimate heist plan in order to outsmart his enemy at the end.

2. The Opal Deception - I thought Opal was a great villain and sort of the fairy world's version of Artemis, with extremely evil intentions. She's probably the smartest foe that Artemis ever faced, considering she out maneuvered Foaly and Artemis for most of the book.

3. The Lost Colony - The idea of the demons being this long lost family of fairies that have been existing outside of time for thousands of years was really cool. N01 was a great character. I thought the ending was also exciting and probably the strongest part of this book.

4. Artemis Fowl (The original) - Such a great start to the series and an awesome self-contained story that exists perfectly if you read just this one, but is also a great stepping stone into the rest of the universe and the story.

5. The Time Paradox - I thought this one was solid but not quite as good as books 3-5 for me.

6. The Arctic Incident - For whatever reason, I just didn't connect with this one as much as the others. It comes in at the bottom of the list for me out of books 1-6.

For those of you who have read the series, what are your thoughts on these books? How are books 7 and 8? All I've done is read a quick synopsis of them and I probably won't go out of my way to read them, but I would be curious what others thought.

Also, P.S., I finally watched the movie towards the end of my re-read. It was just as disappointing as everyone said it was. Such a shame. They made lots of weird choices in terms of the plot and characters.

Books to read:

• Artemis Fowl- Complete
• The Arctic Incident- Complete
• The Eternity Code- Complete
• The Opal Deception
• The Lost Colony
• The Time Paradox
• The Atlantis Complex
• The Last Guardian
• The Artemis Fowl Files
• The Seventh Dwarf

Intended characters- Artemis, Butler (update), Juliet, Holly, Mulch (update), Opal, N°1

Update permission for Butler and Mulch

##Artemis##

> Bringing the worlds together like this could mean disaster for us all.

> I am not concerned with us all, just myself. And believe me, I shall be perfectly fine.

Physicals

• lol

Intelligence

• Puzzled the greatest medical minds and sent them to their own medical hospitals
• Identifies his contact in China by recognizing a slight accent and focusing on his clothing and nails
• Tricks a fairy into drinking a bottle of holy water
• Identifies where a fairy will perform their Ritual in order to kidnap them
• Designed a portable outdoors shelter that hides the occupant’s heat signature
• Tinkers with and opens up a fairy locator, hiding a camera inside and closing it back up. This is described as like “trying to perform open-heart surgery with a sledgehammer”.
• Uses a specialized camera to see fairies, despite their vibrational stealth magic
• Figures out that to escape a fairy timestop, he’d need to forcibly go to sleep, then administers tranquilizers to his allies and himself
• Deduces that Holly is around, despite her invisibility being active
• Cracks a fourteen digit lock in seconds
• Has the highest tested IQ in Europe
• By reverse engineering LEP technology, Artemis constructs a high-tech device that can hack and read any computer or device
• [Encrypts his C Cube with an eternity code written in his own programming language, making it nearly impossible to crack without Artem

Hi all,

It was a labor of love, and I'm officially done! This is my first ever screenplay I've ever posted online for the wider public to read. It's in screenplay format so that might make it more difficult to read, but I hope it's the Artemis Fowl you wished you could have had. Please enjoy and let me know what you think, honest critique, good or bad. If you have any problems with the link, I apologize in advance, my original plan was to upload a PDF file, but I can always repost it again using a different URL. No matter what, you can read it for free at your leisure :)

As always, let me know! Have fun!

New Link: https://www.mediafire.com/file/giz1hc4x3g9aqg3/Artemis_Fowl_Movie_Reboot_Screenplay-converted.pdf/file

I realize that some of you have been having issues with the screenplay with the last link. This one SHOULD let you download the full file. If it won’t let you download, try reading it on a mobile device rather than a desktop.

This meme looked fun. Ask questions, I'll answer, then edit your question to make me look bad.

I know there are millions out there, from romantic pairings amongst the characters to what The Major’s first name was. I’d love to know what some of your favorites are.

My personal favorite is that Trouble Kelp and Caballine are close friends, and that Trouble regards her like a sister. That’s one of the reasons he is always disapproving of Foaly, as no one will ever be good enough for his adopted little sister.

Hi all!

First off thanks for your support! I appreciate it with the screenplay. Second, just for fun if you had a choice, who would you cast for an Artemis Fowl reboot? I haven't chosen an Artemis II, but I was thinking for Artemis Sr. it would be Allen Leech from Downton Abbey. I have several choices for Butler which include: 1) Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, 2) Dave Batista, and 3) Jason Statham, but these are optional. I like Hafþór obviously for his size, but Jasan Statham can definitely do the action scenes and look bad*ss. His accent is also great.

What are your thoughts? Who would you pick?

I loved these two series as a kid and I’m wondering what I can read now that I’m an adult that might scratch those same itches in a more sophisticated way (not sure if sophisticated is the word, but you know what I mean). I’ve never read James Bond…..maybe that’s a place to start? I hear Tom Clancy maybe too? Although Clancy can date himself with his writing sometimes. Any and all suggestions appreciated!

Hey friends! I unfortunately stopped reading after the Opal Deception, but which was your favorite book of the series?

Let me know!

Hi, I’d like to read a book that’s similar to Artemis Fowl but for adults - hoping for a bit of romance as well! Pls let me know if you have anything in mind.

Thanks :)

They're pretty similar. Their names both start with Ar, they're both brilliant planners, and have blue eyes. I have no idea how they would act. (I haven't seen seasons 2-4. No spoilers please)

Butler, Holly and all