Artemis Fowl (film) Puns

It brought back a ton of memories of me popping down the library to get books and read them as quickly as possible, from Abhorsen to Belgariad.

The Alex Rider show also helped with this, I may even dig out my old copies of CHERUB, Alex Rider and Young Bond

So far I want to re-read the ones above, as well as most of Trudy Canavans stuff. Any recommendations for things that you read as kids? And what series are you scared of someone making a god awful film about?

https://www.cnet.com/news/artemis-fowl-spoiler-packed-review-disney-plus-removes-the-criminal-but-keeps-the-action/

https://www.heyuguys.com/artemis-fowl-review/

https://variety.com/2020/film/reviews/artemis-fowl-review-disney-plus-1234631330/

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/jun/11/artemis-fowl-review-judi-dench-kenneth-branagh-eoin-colfer-novels

I'm sure that, as you guys know, the Artemis Fowl movie was terrible as a film and an adaptation. I haven't really seen the film or even read the books, and I am very new here... and yet I am revamping an article on the Awful Movies Wiki which goes into depth into why Artemis Fowl movie was a bad film.

I am basically redoing the film's bad qualities on this sandbox, which also borrows pointers from some of the videos listed within the article.

I am here, because I need your guys' help in adding suggestions and pointers explaining about the flaws of the film, including those that aren't adressed within the sandbox, so I would add them to the sandbox; we would collaborate and basically make a long list of pointers explaining why the film was atrocious.

And this one is more of a suggestion, but I'd advise viewing the listed videos to look for pointers I've missed or you guys could be unaware of.

So, would you guys like to join me in this collaboration and work together as a community to build upon the pointers and add in new ones to accumulate in one long, detailed article explaining why the Artemis Fowl was bad?

Artemis Fowl is currently sitting at appalling 14% on RottenTomatoes with 4.01/10 average, making it one of the worst-reviewed major releases of 2020:

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/artemis_fowl

This film was originally going to get a wide release along with3D and IMAX release (maybe even IMAX 3D release), but all of that went down the toilet when Disney announced that the film will go straight to Disney+ - most likely because the trailer was getting lambasted on YouTube. As it turned out, Disney has made a right decision because it's somehow worse than any other live-action non-remake big-budget Disney film made in recent years.

And after seeing this, I'm now even more convinced that the infamous big-budget fiasco that is Empires of the Deep will be heading straight to VOD in few years or even few months. Here's what I've said about it before:

https://www.reddit.com/r/boxoffice/comments/gkmvcr/with_the_budget_of_130_million_empires_of_the/

TL;DR, the film's production was in utter shambles that it was keep missing deadlines - and it has a budget of $130 million. I've already said that cinemas will be wary of allowing that to be released in cinemas due to all sorts of infamous reputations it got associated with, but after seeing how badly a big-budget film fail, I don't think any cinema chains or even streaming services would want themselves to be associated with that trash at all, making VOD the only place where the film can possibly get released now.

Also, the thing about Artemis Fowl is that at least based on the trailer, it looked like it was made by professionals. This, though? Yeah, even I could tell that it looked absolutely cheap based on its trailer alone. I seriously doubt that even streaming services would want to get close to this, let alone cinema chains (especially after seeing Artemis Fowl fiasco), so don't be surprised if you hear the announcement that the film will be available on VOD sooner or later.

That's all, folks. :D

This got the most votes, so here you go. Please vote.

Previous Disney Film Club Winners

The name is not Artemis Fowl I can’t remember it, it has djinns and magic and is told from the perspective of I think a demon? I read it as a child but I’m not sure it was a childrens book. Definitely had summoning, pentagrams, all that good stuff and I think it was a series.

Here is the link. (it's only the beginning of the script)

This is my first try at screenwriting. I normally write poetry, but am looking to diversify my writing portfolio.

Would absolutely love feedback, and would be happy to review your scripts in return!

EDIT: 27 pages, 5534 words, SFF (Adapted)!

So after seeing the trailer and passed the 5 stages of denial. Some are still trying to find some storypoints relevant but i accepted the fact that this film isn't the story of the Artemis Fowl that we know and read about.

Artemis is a chessmater, he moves his pieces and himself to attain the goal he has fixed. He is proactive. He planned until the end how to get that gold.
The Artemis we see in the movie is maybe intelligent but i'll stop the description at: smart. Yeah a smart kid. The trailer show that he is dragged along into the plot by his father, the fairies, he doesn't know there is a secret room in his house... so many problems.
Instead of Artemis Fowl it's more like Artemis Fowl and diverses characters. He doesn't look like the main protagonist, the one who should make the plot advance. It's a story about a smart kid saving the world...

This was my rent. I can even add something. Imagine Harry potter movies but mixed together and mashed. Yeah that's what we are getting. Maybe i'm wrong, anyway thanks Holywood.

Watch Artemis Fowl official trailer:

Artemis Fowl (2020)

Artemis Fowl is a 2020 American science fantasy adventure film directed by Kenneth Branagh.

Starring Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie, Colin Farrell, Judi Dench, Joshua McGuire, Nikesh Patel, Chi-Lin Nim and others.

#ArtemisFowl, #FerdiaShaw, #LaraMcDonnell, #JoshGad, #TamaraSmart, #NonsoAnozie, #ColinFarrell, #JudiDench, #JoshuaMcGuire, #HongChau, #NikeshPatel, #ChiLinNim, #AdrianScarborough, #ConorMacNeill, #LaurenceKinlan

I found Artemis Fowl to be way more readable and well written.

I think the thing is, PJ has an ensemble of kids as the MCs, where as AF only has one kid among the MCs.

I don't think any other series hits that sweet spot as well after HP.

I hope I made sense lol

1 - Low balled SCP

2 - Medium SCP

3 - High balled SCP

Salut tout le monde, y'a pas longtemps j'ai vu un post qui disait "relisez les bouquins qui vous plaisaient enfant", et je me suis dit "pourquoi pas ?"

J'ai emprunté le 1er tome de "Le Livre des étoiles" par Erik L'homme, et je lis ça le soir. Sauf que bon, avec mes yeux d'adulte je trouve ça assez mauvais ^^'

J'aimerais bien lire la fantaisy mais les seules refs qui me viennent en tête (LotR et GoT) me font pas hyper envie, un peu trop "sérieux" à mon gout

Qu'est-ce que je devrais lire pour retrouver des moments cools comme quand j'étais ado mais avec une qualité d'écriture qui me plairait maintenant ?

Merci pour votre aide :)

Edit : merci pour les réponses, je vais prendre le temps de creuser cette semaineVu que c'était demandé parfois, j'ai 28 ans et d'habitude je lis de la fiction "classique" (genre j'ai lu "les jeunes filles" y'a pas longtemps) ou des essais.

Edit 26/12 : du coup je me lance dans l'Assassin Royal :)

I was going to add the first Artemis Fowl novel tomorrow, but I'm finding the 'movie tie in' version available.

I am NOT a fan of the movie, and have the opinion they should have been true to the source material.. Will I be disappointed and find it differs from the original novel on my physical book shelf?

I am part of a Discord server focused around the Enderverse book series by Orson Scott Card. We were having a discussion of poor book to film/TV adaptations there. One person there mentioned the Artemis Fowl movie, which is apparently bad because it differs from the books too much. Another person pointed out that it would not have been bad had it not been marketed as Artemis Fowl.

As a result, I decided to watch the movie to see how bad it is since I have no experience with the books. However, I still think that it isn’t good and I would give it a 4/10 rating.

First of all, most of the movie takes place within Fowl Manor. With the exception of a very short scene of Artemis going to school and Holly Short doing some stuff at a wedding in Italy, all action takes place either in a room in the place where the fairies live or within Fowl Manor.

Second of all, Mulch has to narrate a whole bunch of scenes from a station in the ocean and even describes scenes that we get to see firsthand. What kind of movie does that?

The whole movie has a storyline so simple that even a five year old could understand. Artemis sees his father missing and these fairies come and have a giant battle over the Aculos that is stored in Fowl Manor. Holly summons his father back and the story ends with Artemis going to find Opal.

Finally, Artemis describes himself as a “criminal mastermind” at the end of the film even though we don’t get to see him commit any crimes. He also seems too much like a Mary Sue because he can apparently surf and climb up buildings despite being so small and supposedly achieved feats better than most adults as a young child.

I have never read the books and don’t know how much they differ from the movie or whether or not I will like them. But here is my review of the movie as a non-book reader to disprove the hypothesis that the movie wouldn’t have been bad had the books not existed.

P.S. Don’t give me spoilers for the books in the comments because I’m planning to read them when I have time.

Artemis Fowl Jump v0.1

By blackshadow111, Rokoran

Essence META CYOA Part 1

Essence of Jumpchain:

Upon drinking this Essence, you have gained the ability to choose any origin, perk, or item that exists in Jumpchain. You have 5000 CP, and you can buy anything in Jumpchain at a discount. Things that cost 100 or less CP are not free and are discounted. Anything that is offered for free cost 100 CP, which is discounted to 50 CP. Getting an origin will not further discount any perks or items that relate to it. You can take any drawbacks up to +2000 CP from any jumps to get more CP, and these drawbacks will disappear after 10 years. You also have the ability to jump to any settings that exist in Jumpchain.

Age and Gender:

• Age: 13
• Gender: Male

Time and Place:

• Time: One year before Artemis Fowl Sr.'s disappearance
• Place: Manhattan, NY

Origins:

• Genius

Species:

• Human

Perks:

• Rule Breaker- 150 CP (Free Human)
• Warlock- 200 CP (Requires Magic, Discount Human)
• Thing of Wonder- 250 CP (Capstone Booster)
• Drop-in:

1. It Was a Troll- 50 CP
2. Mesmer-Proof Mind- 200 CP
3. I Ate Your Truffles- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

• Genius:

1. Boy Genius- 50 CP
2. Aurum Est Potestas- 100 CP
3. Fowl Schemes- 200 CP
4. Foaly? Koboi? Jumper- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

• LEPRecon:

1. Investigator- 200 CP
2. Commander- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

• Real Tough:

1. Consummate Professional- 50 CP
2. Situational Awareness- 100 CP
3. Blue Diamond- 300 CP (Capstone Boosted)

Items:

• Drop-in:

1. Fairy Gold- 50 CP
2. The Book- 300 CP
3. Satellites- 200 CP

• Genius:

1. Documentation- 50 CP
2. Manor- 100 CP

• LEPRecon:

1. IRIS Cam- 100 CP
2. Archive- 300 CP

• Real Tough:

1. Legend- 50 CP
2. Network- 300 CP

Companions:

• Canon Companion- 250 CP: 5 Slots

Drawbacks:

• Interesting Times +0
• Problematic Parent +200
• No Cheating +300
• Artemis’s Attention +400

As a book lover I've lurked this sub for awhile now and people really should check what age group the book was written for before reading them or making posts about how bad they are. Eragon, Cirque De Freak, Artimis Fowl, Divergent, Twilight, the list goes on and on. These books are meant for Young Adults and Teenagers. It's not a surprised if you read them at 27 and realize how bad they are.

They aren't bad books, they're just not books for you. It's okay to admit that and move on. Books have demographics just as much as TV and movies. An adult doesn't go to see the Wiggles and expect to have a good time (although they are surprisingly enjoyable) or critique their children's Saturday cartoons or their teenager's cringe werewolf romance drama show for being simplistic and predicable. It's great to them because it's for them. It's crap to you because you're never expected to watch it anyway. That's okay. There's really no need to tear those things apart in a reddit post.

Obviously there will be some adults who will still love YA books, shows, and movies. If that's you, please keep recommending them to people. It's not your fault if someone neglects to notice the YA or TV14 tag and ends up hating it.

Edit: I'm not saying "you're not the target audience" is an end all excuse so you can never say something is bad. Some books are indesputably bad. I believe that if you hold an opinion that contradicts what is widely accepted as true, then it's probably more about your personal preference than something being inherently bad. For instance, I hate Avengers movies and think they are full of crudely written dialogue and oversized casts where no character actually matters. Obviously the world disagrees with that opinion. I'm willing to look at that and say that Avengers isn't inherently bad, but it doesn't suit my preference. Try to look at books the same way. Even though something like Twilight can be torn to shreds for the author's poor writing, it is beloved and treasured by such a large audience it's obvious there was something there that made it great but didn't suit my taste so saying it's a bad book is simply not true. Pointing out flaws and saying something is bad are two different things.

Edit 2: The comments are pretty fun you should check them out. Admittedly most of them say I'm wrong and an idiot lol. But the others are filled with people saying a book is horrible and then others saying the same book is great. The only constant is that Divergent an