Armadillidiidae Puns

Tried googling for about ten minutes and found everything except for the question of how old the bugs are.

Just curious how many thousands or millions of years ago they emerged.

Just curious. My partner and I got a baby veiled chameleon (hes about 2 months) and I was wondering how safe it would be to feed him the Armadillidiidae (rolley polley bugs) from our back yard. Their everywhere and look relatively harmless, but obviously I'd like a second, third, or fourth opinion. I don't want to do something that could hurt my little guy. (I live in Toronto, if that makes any difference)

These

1. Cubaris sp. “Amber”
2. Cubaris sp. “Amber Firefly”
3. Cubaris sp. “Amber Firefly” (DCF)
4. Cubaris sp. “Amber Firefly” (LCF)
5. Cubaris sp. “Angry Monk”
6. Cubaris sp. “Blond Ducky”
7. Cubaris sp. “Blue Pigeon”
8. Cubaris sp. “Bumble Bee”
9. Cubaris sp. “Cappuccino”
10. Cubaris sp. “Caramel”
11. Cubaris sp. “Cave Ducky”
12. Cubaris sp. “Chiang Dao”
13. Cubaris sp. “Cliff Ducky”
14. Cubaris sp. “Copper”
15. Cubaris sp. “Crystal Clear”
16. Cubaris sp. “Emerald”
17. Cubaris sp. “Firefly”
18. Cubaris sp. “Giant Raichu”
19. Cubaris sp. “Green Laser”
20. Cubaris sp. “Orange Laser”
21. Cubaris sp. “Hong Tiger”
22. Cubaris sp. “Jupiter”
23. Cubaris sp. “Lan Saka”
24. Cubaris sp. “Latte”
25. Cubaris sp. “Lemon Blue”
26. Cubaris sp. “Miyako”
27. Cubaris sp. “Opal”
28. Cubaris sp. “Pak Chong”
29. Cubaris sp. “Panda King”
30. Cubaris sp. “Panda King” (Red)
31. Cubaris sp. “Piggy”
32. Cubaris sp. “Platin”
33. Cubaris sp. “Quartz”
34. Cubaris sp. “Quartz” (Diamond back)
35. Cubaris sp. “Red Pak Chong”
36. Cubaris sp. “Rubber Ducky”
37. Cubaris sp. ‘’Rubber Bee’’
38. Cubaris sp. “Rusty”
39. Cubaris sp. “Silver Tiger”
40. Cubaris sp. “Storm Trooper”
41. Cubaris sp. “Toffee”
42. Cubaris sp. “White King”
43. Cubaris sp. “White Shark”
44. Cubaris sp. “White Ducky”
45. Cubaris sp. “White Ducky” (Golden Body)
46. Cubaris sp. “White Tiger”
47. Cubaris sp. “Yellow Dust”
48. Isopoda sp. “Spiny Hedgehog”
49. Isopoda sp. “Shiny Gator”
50. Merulanella bicolorata “Yellow Panda”
51. Merulanella sp. “Ember Bee”
52. Merulanella sp. “Red Antenna”
53. Merulanella sp. “Tricolor”
54. Armadillidium sp. “Gestroi”
55. Armadillidium sp. “Marbleized”
56. Armadillidium sp. “Platinum”
57. Armadillidium maculatum “Zebra”
58. Armadillidium nasatum “Peach”
59. Armadillidiidae sp. “Round Tail”
60. Armadillidiidae sp. “Brown”
61. Porcellio scaber “Lava”
62. Porcellio scaber “Orange”
63. Porcellio laevis “Dairy Cow”
64. Porcellio laevis “Orange”
65. Porcellio hoffmannseggii
66. Porcellio expansus
67. Porcellio expansus “Orange”
68. Porcellio haasi “High Yellow”
69. Porcellio magnificus
70. Porcellio ornatus “High Yellow”
71. Porcellio sp. “Sevilla”
72. Porcellio sp. “Sevilla Caramel”
73. Porcellionides pruinosus “Powder Blue”
74. Porcellionides pruinosus ‘’Powder Orange’’
75. Porcellionides pruinosus ‘’White Out’’
76. Porcellionides pruinosus ‘’Oreo Crumble’’
77. Porcellionides pruinosus ‘’Red Koi’’
78. Venezillo sp. ‘’Black Bear’’
79. Venezillo sp. ‘’Big Bear’’
80. Venezillo sp. ‘’Honey Bear’’

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.