We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?

A mooborn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Singular1st
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.

For him, it’s a touchy subject.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Somebody asked me to describe my life as an amputee, but I couldn't answer.

I was stumped.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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My girlfriend left me because I didn't answer her when she asked me for an eleven letter synonym of "complex".

It's complicated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I asked my friend what he was doing with all the cement he bought. He didn't give me a concrete answer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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My son told me to answer my phone.

But it didn't say anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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My son asked me if he should take Algebra, and I said it was a difficult question to answer...

there are just too many variables involved.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voip_geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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People ask me why I’m so nervous around trees, and I always have the same answer

β€œThey just seem really shady.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sauce_b0y
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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My wife asked me my favorite time of day. My answer: 6:30 hands down.

Explanation: think hands on a clock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeschmo945
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Whenever someone asks me how im doing i answer β€œI’m oxygen potassium”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illegalmin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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My wife just came back from the store. I asked which one and she won’t give me a straight answer.

She keeps saying, β€œGuess.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheeMainEvent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Don't ask me why I refuse to answer questions.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Well mister Fancy-Pants-Doctor man answer me this

if smoking so dangerous how come it cures bacon?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeuroCavalry
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Through the darkest hours you've been there for me, working through my mistakes, and you've always been able to provide me with answers.

I love you Google

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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So my friend, dad of 3, always sends me jokes. But he's not giving me the answer to this one. I figured the dad community might be able to help me with this one.

A man is trapped in a cylindrical room, 8 feet in diameter, 10 feet high and no ceiling. He's out in the middle of Arabian desert where no one can hear him...how does he escape?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatrickJamesYu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2016
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GF decided not to answer me seriously

Saw in an ad that the first 24/7 Hardware store in Denmark is here.
Asked GF why on earth would you need a Hardware store to be open 24/7.
She replied "Cause you never know when it's hammertime!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arlaarlaarla
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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it took me 15 years to be smart enough to answer this

Dad: hey, classen42, does your face hurt?? Me: uh... No... Why? Dad: really? Cause it's killing me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/classen42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2016
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My dad gave me an amazing answer

So I was discussing with my family, whether or not horses have souls or not. After a couple of minutes o decided to go ask my dad and it went something like this

Me: dad do horses have souls?

Dad: well they have shoes don't they?

I could not tell if it was a clever response or the best dad joke he ever told me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nolad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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Daughter was frustrated with me and said "Dad, give me a straight answer!"

"Ruler!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numbnu7s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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