"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself and shared it with us during Christmas dinner!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Honolulu...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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I believe I speak for almost all of us here

*Good morning *Buenos dias *Bonjour *Guten Morgen *Boungiorno *Bom dia *God morgon *Selamat pagi *Goedemorgen *God morgen *Dobroye utro

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Like all of us have been.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrissiKross
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?

Ginger-bite-us

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colorado_kindbudz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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They say one in four people are homosexual, which is weird because I have three best friends, all guys. Makes me wonder which one of us would be gay.

I hope It's Paul. He's cute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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I’d like the opportunity for all of us to see the next day. #stayathome
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLisaShow2020
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Things have been a bit tense with my wife, with both of us stuck in quarantine all the time. We even had an argument about herbs the other day.

To be honest, it was about thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whistlepoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Teacher: Okay class, tell me what scares you most. Let's start with Paul. Paul: Werewolves Nina: Sharks Dylan: The unstoppable march of time that us guiding us all to our inevitable demise.

Catherine: Dylan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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We should all take a moment and thank our legs and feet for a lifetime of supporting us.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhayes69123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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I was taking my kids trick or treating along a dark country road, on a moonless Halloween night, when all of a sudden, a vampire swooped down from the darkness and landed right in front of us!

My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"

Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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As a US citizen, seeing all of these trade wars occuring with our country has me tarrified.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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My boss came into the office and poured us all shots to celebrate the birth of his daughter. I asked why the liquor had little bits of gold floating around in it, and he explained it was GoldschlΓ€ger

Weird flecks, but ok.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeCoT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath....

She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Photoshopbattles got all of us pretty good. imgur.com/n7RHdaI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToTouchAnEmu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
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The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.

It was a worst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acemask
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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To all of us, Prince was a very talented musician, composer, songwriter and performer.

But to the recording studios, he was more than that. He was a symbol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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For the nerdy dad in all of us. imgur.com/YuluUNq
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LisaGeezy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
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Last minute costume idea for the true dad in all of us.

Wear a grey shirt and hold two items in your hands comparing weights. Congratulations you are now a greyscale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubborn_man
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2016
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All of us here belong in the punitentiary

ok so I got this one from my band director and We all thought she should "let it go"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyr897
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
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My psych professor just dadjoked all of us.

"I named my closet Christopher... because it was a walk-in."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaceofHoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
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My dad, after letting us all know he chose cremation when making end-of-life preparations

"I just want to go out with a smokin' hot body."

Good one, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewdog173
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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My Dad made all of us groan with this one.

My brother was pulling a pineapple upside down cake out of the oven, and then my Dad walks by and says:

"You know, I love this cake, but we should really try it right side up next time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrommboy33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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