Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, βWhatβs the word on the street?β
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︎ May 04 2021
The all vegetable circus came to town yesterday.
I hear their clown act is corny.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
I was arrested yesterday after neighbours complained about me playing Englebert Humperdink records all night
Police released me, let me go!
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︎ Feb 28 2021
I spent all day crushing coke cans yesterday.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
My dog pooped on the deck yesterday and now it's all hard.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.
ItsΒ enoughΒ toΒ makeΒ aΒ mangoΒ crazy!
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︎ Aug 05 2020
My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.
We've made a massive mistake
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I gave away all of my batteries yesterday.
And the best part, it was free of charge!
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︎ May 28 2020
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
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︎ Aug 11 2020
I was talking to my dad yesterday about all the meats my husband has cooked in the smoker
My dad: I tried to smoke a chicken once, but it wouldn't light.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
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︎ Sep 23 2019
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.
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︎ Mar 21 2020
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away
But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round
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︎ Sep 21 2019
I put my clothes in the washing machine yesterday and all of them came out with a picture of Santa on it.
I shouldnβt have used the Yule Tide Detergent.
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︎ Dec 24 2019
So I bought some new shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I donβt know what he laced them with but Iβve been tripping all day
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︎ Aug 10 2019
Bruh, now i know why none of my posts have blown up, it's coz i asked to have them all in one piece yesterday.
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︎ Apr 08 2019
Yesterday I was driving my car when a bunch of guys jumped in and stole all my change.
They were the Pirates of the car I be in.
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︎ Mar 08 2019
We attended my sister's boyfriend's funeral at 9 A.M. yesterday, but she didn't seem very upset and didn't cry at all. I asked her why and she said,
She's not really a mourning person.
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︎ Aug 08 2019
So yesterday I went to the store. All that I got was a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. That was all. Fortunately it was light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
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︎ Dec 16 2018
I was flapping my arms once per second for all of yesterday
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︎ Oct 18 2018
I spent all day yesterday trying to convince people on a WW2 subreddit that I was French.
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︎ Mar 10 2019
Somebody came to me yesterday and said, "You're wasting your time and money on all these inventions!"
It was at this point that the Slap-A-Twat Automatic 3000 came into its own!
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︎ Jan 18 2019
My sister said she felt so lousy yesterday, she stood in bed all day
I told her if she felt that bad, she should have laid down in bed all day.
Note: I have no idea if using "stood" for an irregular past tense of "stay" is a regional thing or what, but I've been hearing it my whole life. (I'm in Brooklyn.)
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︎ Jun 05 2016
I ate all the Moroccan food yesterday.
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︎ Jun 16 2017
I was told this joke yesterday sitting down for dinner with all my family.
Β€ Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?
...Because the 'p' is silent!
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︎ May 09 2014
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his scrabble letters while walking down the road.
I asked him, βWhatβs the word on the street?β
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︎ Apr 28 2020
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, βWhatβs the word on the street?β
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all of his Scrabble letters on the street.
I asked him, βWhatβs the word on the street?β
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away
But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round...
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︎ Sep 30 2018
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