Aleksandrs Grīns Puns

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

It really does, I swear!

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Latvian is a very peculiar language. We can't declense words without certain qualities/rules in the word itself, so we have to ''Latvianise'' foreign names to make them make sense in our language. Here's all of NBA players! It took some time, but it's coronoffseason, so it's ok!

You can google all at least kinda relevant NBA player latvian versions and you will get results. Latvian journalists took care of the proof.

Thanks to the polish guy from whom I drew inspirtation!

Edit: Here are some latvian kids saying some!

Atlantas ''Hawks'' (Atlanta Hawks)

• Trē Jangs (Trae Young)

• Dżefs Tīgs (Jeff Teague)

• Brendons Gudvins (Brandon Goodwin)

• Kevins Herters (Kevin Huerter) ​

• Treivons Greiems (Treveon Graham)

• Deandrē Hanters (De'Andre Hunter)

• Deandrē Bembrijs (DeAndre' Bembry)

• Kems Redišs (Cam Reddish)

• Čārlijs Brauns (Charlie Brown)

• Džons Kolinss (John Collins)

• Vinss Kārters (Vince Carter)

• Klints Kapela (Clint Capela)

• Deveins Dedmons (Dewayne Dedmon)

• Skals Labisijē (Skal Labissiere)

• Bruno Fernando (Bruno Fernando)

• Deimians Džounss (Damian Jones)

Bostonas ''Celtics'' (Boston Celtics)

• Kemba Vokers (Kemba Walker)

• Markuss Smārts (Marcus Smart)

• Breds Vanameikers (Brad Wanamaker)

• Treimonts Voters (Tremont Waters)

• Karsens Edvardss (Carsen Edwards)

• Romeo Lengfords (Romeo Langford)

• Džeilens Brauns (Jaylen Brown)

• Džavonte Grīns (Javonte Green)

• Džeisons Teitums (Jason Tatum)

• Roberts Viljamss Trešais (Robert Williams III)

• Gordons Heivards (Gordon Hayward)

• Grants Viljamss (Grant Williams)

• Semi Odželeje (Semi Ojeleye)

• Daniels Teiss (Daniel Theis)

• Eness Kanters (Enes Kanter)

• Roberts Viljamss (Robert Williams)

• Tako Fols (Tacko Fall)

• Vinsents Porijē (Vincent Poirier)

Bruklinas ''Nets'' (Brooklyn Nets)

• Kairijs Ērvings (Kyrie Irving)

• Spensers Dinvidijs (Spencer Dinwiddie)

• Gerets Templs (Garrett Temple)

• Kriss Čioza (Chris Chiozza)

• Džeremaija Martins (Jeremiah Martin)

• Teo Pinsons (Theo Pinson)

• Kariss Leverts (Caris LeVert)

• Džo Heriss (Joe Harris)

• Toreans Prinss (Taurean Prince)

• Džanans Musa (Dzanan Musa)

• Timotē Luvavu Kabaro (Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot)

• Rodions Kurucs (Rodions Kurucs) LAT

• Vilsons Čendlers (Wilson Chandler)

• Nikolass Klekstons (Nicolas Claxton)

• Kevins Durents (Kevin Durant)

• Džarets Alens (Jarrett Allen)

• Deandrē Džordans (DeAndre Jordan)

Šarlotes ''Hornets'' (

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

Because his Visa didn’t work.

free

Because the audience only responds in a low ha

A happy Uncle.....

"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"

I’d never seen him be 4.

Nothing, it just waved

Ice-olation.

She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭