Ain't Nobody Puns

Ain’t nobody rolling shit around here

They ain’t got nobody :(

A woman went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked him if it's true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.

The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me for mah services before."

"Don't be flattered," she said. "Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

Ain't nobody go thyme for that

Ain't nobody got thyme for that

I did the laundry unasked today, but I left my sister's socks and underwear for them to do (ain't nobody got time to match all their colorful socks.) When they came home, she asked me why I didn't do her underwear. I said, "Well, I would've done them wrong and then your panties would all be in a bunch."