I have a really good time travel joke
... but you guys didn't really like it..
When is a good time to visit the dentist?
Met a girl in the pub last night who said she'd show me a good time...
Got outside and she ran 100m in 9.72 seconds
Years ago my little sister (6 @ the time) was building a popsicle-stick bridge in class and her classmate kept insisting it wasn't good enough. "It has to be perfect" ...
He said this over and over
Finally, baby sis turns to him and says : "what's your name again?"
"It's Josh"... He said, confused 🤔
Baby sis : "That's right. It's not Jesus!"
True story 😂
When's a good time to eat ice cream?
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
Why is a Dyson vacuum cleaner considered both good and bad at the same time?
For a holiday last year, my father took us to a narrow inlet in the ocean, where we had a good time...
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
What’s the opposite of a good time?
Whatever happens in the MEANtime!
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire.
v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
Especially if it's a good book that makes you lose track of the time
I was in the pub having a drink when a girl came up to me and said she can show me a good time. So I followed her out the back where she took off her top...
...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds
I went to that circle of infant male pigs expecting to have a good time but...
It was a little boar ring.
The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.
From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?
How did Michael Jackson know when his girlfriend was having a good time during sex?
Friend: My mouth burned the whole time cause my dad made me eat this hot pepper in exchange for the show ticket. Wasn’t even a good show.
Me: You just really ate to see it
Sometimes, I have a hard time coming up with a good joke.
I know a good way to kill time
Grab a clock and beat it with a baseball bat
Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?
The prince was unbearable.
A recent study shows that watching Bohemian Rhapsody multiple times might not be good for your health.
Because of the unusually high Mercury content.
I'm having a hard time finding a good pair of camouflage pants.
We don't knead dough to have a good time.
I know I'll always have a good time at any beach.
I need your advice I have this friend. Our relationship is very unstable. Sometimes we have a very good connections and at other times we have a pretty bad connection.
My wife made me wait a good long time with my friends at the pool before I realized she wasn’t coming with my towel...
You could say she left me hanging out to dry.
Bonheur is French for happiness. Boner is English for a good time. Coincidence?
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?
Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day
I've always had a good time hanging out with gynecologists
They really bring out the child in you.
I went to a crater convention expecting to have a good time
It ended up being the pits
Where's a good place for birds to buy tools and alcoholic beverages at the same time?
I guess no time is too serious for a good dad joke
My brother and I are in the waiting room at the ER while my dad is back in the ER room texting us about what's going on. I wasn't sure if the ER was the same as the ICU. MY. My dad couldn't hold back.
http://imgur.com/sKewAWG
Grandfather visiting is always a good time.
My grandfather came over today, and looked out at our back porch.
He paused and said, "I see you have a new patio chair. Oh! And it's Irish cousin, patio grill."
Bill Watterson pulled a few good dad jokes in his time.
https://www.reddit.com/r/calvinandhobbes/comments/3bxb24/thursday_july_2_1987_your_daily_ch_for_usurefif/
My dad offers a good one next time you put your car in the shop...
If you go to one of those shops where they offer to "top off all your fluids" here's something you dads can use.
Dad: calls auto shop Yea I'd like to call and complain
Shop owner: Yes sir, what's the problem?
Dad: Well, I put my car in your shop today and you offered to top off ALL my fluids. Well you didn't.
Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, what did we miss?
Dad: I still have half a tank of gas! So you didn't top off all my fluids!
insert facepalm here
I met a girl the other night who said she'd show me a good time.....
Took me to the park and ran 100m in 6.5 seconds!
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