A conversation with Dracula

me: iā€™m going to make one of those diagrams that uses circles

dracula: venn

me: probably tomorrow

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šŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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One friend of mine is LITERALLY a legend...

He always helps me with maps and diagrams, pointing out all the little symbols and what they mean.

šŸ‘︎ 840
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/bebelmatman
šŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Or maybe later . . .

Me: I need to make one of those diagrams that uses two overlapping circles.

Wife: Venn?

Me: Right now.

Wife: speechless eye roll

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/wordsonascreen
šŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/vitamorior
šŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What is a Norwegian's favorite type of chart?

A Sven diagram.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ndemerson
šŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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I once drew a Venn Diagram to explain my use of puns to my wife

We had been cooking dinner, and my wife commented (after one too many comments about 'Gouda being gooda and Feta being Betta') that it seemed like most of my puns tend to be food puns.

So I drew her a diagram. I started with a huge circle to represent all of my puns. Inside that I drew a large circle filling about 90% of it.

"Those are my food puns."

I then drew another circle, this one about half the size of the food circle, with almost all of it inside the food circle.

"And these are my cheese puns."

My wife immediately called me out, pointing at the sliver that was outside of the food circle.

"Shouldn't this be fully inside the other circle?"

"No," I say, "Those puns are rare, but they tend to be cheesiest."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/xahhfink6
šŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?

They use a Sven Diagram.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Targetsb
šŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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I made a Venn Diagram to explain my pun usage...

So storytime... My wife and I were talking about my overuse of puns, and food/cheese puns in particularly (that's goud-a but this one's feta, etc.) I ended up drawing a Venn diagram.

The largest circle was my total puns, inside it was a second circle representing food puns, with a third showing cheese puns. I was trying to show that a majority of all of my puns are food related, and many of those are cheese related.

Something like this: http://i.imgur.com/nPdi07H.jpg

My wife immediately told me I did it wrong, that some of the cheese circle was outside of the food puns.

I told her that those are rare, but are often the cheesiest.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/xahhfink6
šŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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How does a deer hunter keep track of all their cuts of meat?

Using a ven-ison diagram.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/lord_dumbello
šŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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I couldn't believe I rewired a piece of equipment incorrectly...

I was shocked!

So true story, I rewired an electric chain hoist at work today, and I followed the Wire diagram as it was laid out. But when I went to try it, I got a nasty shock. Turns out a customer had tried to rewire it themselves and swapped the ground and the live wire in the controller... mean practical joke? I don't know. But it woke me up!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/BeerBellies
šŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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Double scientific Dad Joke

I was in my Organic Chemistry class and we were talking about something called Frost's Circle My teacher asked why this is important and I said "Because it's cool" Groans everywhere. So I said "Well look at his diagram, there's no way around it." Double groans

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/tdkreturns
šŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Professor dad jokes entire conference

We're at a research conference this week, and my professor was the session chair. He started out with "we all know that H2O is water, but - and I want you to really think about this - what is H2O4?" He then shows a diagram of the molecule for us all to ponder. After a minute he says, "so, what is H2O4? For drinking, bathing, washing up..." Cue a room full of groans and chuckles.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Phizzwizard
šŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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