What do you call a fleet of flying fruit

The Royal pear force

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswagdodo11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2021
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Why does the king bring his toilet to the poker game?

To secure a royal flush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guggera
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2021
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need your help to find new multipuns

A while ago i stumbled upon this 4in1 pun:

It's a TV show featuring a motorcycle gang full of bisexual royal norsemen called Bikings

Mighty redditors can you help me to find more of this kind of multi puns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHitchHock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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A meat-loving king has a contest to find the next royal chef

A meat-loving king has a contest to find the next royal chef. He invites 3 renowned chefs from all over the kingdom to serve him and the favorite will become the new royal chef!

The first chef serves the king an enormous rack of ribs. "Very impressive," said the king.

The second chef serves a huge steak, cooked to perfection. "So satisfying," said the king.

The third chef gives the king a plate with small rocks on a bed of shredded cabbage. "What the hell is this," the king asks.

The third chef says, "These rocks fell from the sky into my back yard. Indeed, ribs and steak are very meaty, but asteroids are meteor!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppardee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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What's a King's favorite beverage?

Royal-Tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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There once was a beautiful, snowy kingdom.

It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.

However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a tiny bell from a kitten’s collar, all the way up to the bell from the king’s royal bell tower.

When the king awoke one morning, the bell tower’s bell was missing. The king, being brave and noble, decided to follow the thief back to his lair. He chose four of his most loyal soldiers, mounted his horse, and rode off into the snowy woods, following the footprints left behind on the ground.

Soon, he and his soldiers arrived to a clearing in the woods. In front of them was a large, bell-shaped building. They found the thief’s lair!Pointing to the recent tracks left in the snow by the thief, the king announced to the soldiers,

β€œLook! The Fresh Prints to Bell Lair!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_reddit03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...

That was a royal pane in the ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I was born a Yorkshire pudding

But I was made in the royal gravy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elliott268
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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What do you call the toilet of a king with a gambling addiction?

Royal flush!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBirb_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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At an auction, I bought an old Nintendo game originally used by Queen Elizabeth.

Now I know how to properly use the royal wii.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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If a documentary is made of Harry and Meghan in America would it be called.....

A Royal aBroad ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M0nter1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What kind of tea does the queen of England drink?

Royal tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Give_Help_Please
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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What’s the one thing professional poker players and plumbers can agree on?

A royal flush is better than a full house

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarningOutOfMind
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Why is the queen of England rich?

Because of all her royal tea's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Choiceofart
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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A whimsical tale...

There once was a princess named Emily, but the royal family called her Em for short. One day the king posed a riddle in order to choose a suitor for his eldest daughter, Elizabeth. The riddle was as follows:

Elizabeth has two apples, and Emily has one apple. Emily gives Elizabeth her apple as a wedding gift. How might you calculate the total amount of apples Elizabeth has presently?

Many days passed and no one could figure out the answer. Of course, on the first day a man came and answered, β€œSire, to calculate the amount of apples Elizabeth has, you must add Emily’s apple.” He was promptly executed.

After this, the kingdom was stumped. Nobody knew how to calculate Elizabeth’s apples if the answer was not to simply to add Emily’s apple, and none dared to try and answer unless they were absolutely sure of it.

One night, a young man, determined to find the answer, climbed up the palace walls to watch the royal family as they ate.

β€œFather,” said Emily, β€œhave you made the riddle too hard? No one has been able to guess it yet.”

β€œNo worries Em,” responded the king, I have confidence that the time will come soon.”

The young man descended the wall, having learned the secret to the riddle.

The next day, dressed In his finest clothes, the young man approached the king with the answer to the riddle.

β€œWhat is your answer, young man?” declared the king.

The young man replied, β€œIn order to calculate Elizabeth’s apples, you must ADD EM’S APPLE.”

The king answered β€œlol get it?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diezlk9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Samuel Jackson: I never eat anything with cheese.

But when I do, it's Royale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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Meghan Markle is currently stuck abroad...

She's leaving the royal family, so she can't be a dame!

[Based on the news I heard today, incase you're confused]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Queen Elizabeth only plays poker on the toilet.

That's because she's guaranteed a royal flush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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I wish I were a British fighter pilot

Those dudes are royal AF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klinquist
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Why is the queens toilet so good at poker

It always gets royal flushes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidgetFucker420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I saw a kickstarter for a game where bulls had to fight each other for survival.

Another shameless cash grab exploiting the popularity of Cattle Royale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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Where do fancy apples go to for a party?

Royal gala

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Other_Vader
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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The Queen of England dropped some valuable cards in the toilet.

They call it the royal flush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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The King exited the toilet triumphantly...

...proclaiming he had a royal flush

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πŸ‘€︎ u/globalklaus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Queen Cleopatra and the bath of milk

The royal court of Egypt hires a new bath servant for Queen Cleopatra.

The Queen walks into her royal bath chamber disrobes and climbs into her empty bath.

β€œPlease fill my bath with milk”

β€œPasteurised?”

β€œJust up to my tits will be fine”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewbaccaNZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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What is the drink that Kings and Queens enjoy?

Royal Tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanorockz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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How do you address regal safety equipment?

Your Royal Harness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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What would you call the Queen if she had ketchup all over her face?

Your Royal Heinz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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What do they call the hunger games in Europe

Battle Royale with cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkychease
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
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This joke is pretty chill...

What do you call an uncaring royal that lives in the poles? An Ice Queen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerChewieBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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[Long] The king and queen of Fruitlandia had a son named Melon.

One day, Melon met a girl named Cantaloupe. She was very sweet to him. They fell in love quickly, but his father didn’t approve because she was a peasant. You see, the king wanted Melon to marry the princess of Veggieland, Broccoli. The king banned Melon and Cantaloupe from seeing each other ever again.

However, the young lovers were determined to see each other. Every Sunday, Cantaloupe snuck into Melon’s room. They would stay up till midnight with each other. This went on for many years.

Meanwhile, the king was arranging Melon’s marriage with Broccoli. He was prepared to pay every expense to make the wedding excellent for PR. However, the night before Melon was to be married, the king found out about his meeting with Cantaloupe! He made Melon swear a Royal Oathβ€”an unbreakable promiseβ€”to marry Broccoli the next day and never see Cantaloupe again after that.

That night, when Cantaloupe visited, Melon admitted what had happened. She begged him to run off with her and get married, but he refused.

β€œI love you, but I swore a Royal Oath. I’m sorry, dear, but I Cantaloupe.”

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you kids! Its called the cheerio joke.


So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will you marry me?" she says "no honey you really do have to become a frosted cheerio first." So he goes back and he works and works, hes a fryboy at McGrubers or something, I dont care. So he works and he works and he gets promoted at the restraunt and is making more money. And he works and he works and he works and by having that income raise he finally becomes a level 3 cheerio. He feels sucessful for the first time in his life but he is starting to fall back on his old ways. One day he goes to the casino and he loses and he loses and he loses and he gambled all his money away and he gets fired to boot because gambling is against company policy. So he is back down to a level 1 cheerio. He gets a job on a production line at a nearby factory and determines himself not to fall back ever again. So he works and he works and he works and he works and he WORKS, level 2, level 3, and he is doing great again. He is promoted to Floor manager of the factory and he is doing great and becomes a level 4 cheerio. But then one day a rival company sabotages their operation by putting poison in their toothpaste or whatever the hell they were making. They have to pay out damages and PR and the like and they declare bankruptcy. He is knocked back down to level 2 for the lack in income. But he is hired almost straight away by a branch of a huge conglomerate because they recognized how hard of a worker he is. So he works, level 3, works, level 4, and he works and works and WORKS. So he is promoted t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t17389z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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β€ͺIn addition to themselves, some monarchs also refer to their liquid waste using plural pronouns.

It is, after all, the royal wee.‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElLordHighBueno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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*Puts a burger king crown on the gaming console*

Look, now it's the Royal Wii.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharra_Blackfire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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I've never played poker in my life, so I had quite a bit of trouble in the loo when I was in Her Majesty The Queen's palace..

You see, I don't know much about the royal flush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apostjustforthis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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An old painter is quickly losing his vision

An old painter is quickly losing his vision, but wants to keep working despite being given many opportunities to retire. His boss wants to give younger painters a chance, but the old painter refuses to quit. One day he is assigned to restore a section of the Great Wall that has detailed ancient Chinese calligraphy painted on it. Because of his vision he ends up painting over much of the details in the art and royally screws up. After his boss finds out, he is given a talking to and is immediately fired.

I guess he just couldn’t see the writing on the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klausklass
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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