A list of puns related to "1942 Qantas Short Empire shootdown"
This important battle would probably change the tide of the war in favor of the Japanese in the Pacific, or at least let the Japanese stall out for a little while longer. This was the battle that changed the outcome of the Pacific Theatre, so what would happen if the Japanese won at that fateful battle?
The [Evil] Empire didn't view [Planet With a Lot of Numbers in its Name] as significant.
The [Good] Federation officially considers every inhabited body significant, but, let's face it, they didn't really consider [Planet With a Lot of Numbers in its Name] significant, either. That's why it had numbers in its name.
Of course, they now both know it as a very significant place, because it was in orbit of this world that a very significant event occurred.
The [Evil] Empire was in the process of boarding the [Good] Federation's local fleet's Flagship, the [Obscure Synonym for Altruism] - they got more babies to skin alive with wooden sporks by boarding it than by blowing it up with a MegaUltraHyperDeathBeam Mk. 3 - when they encountered a new, weird, bipedal hairless carapaceless pink thing that one of them might vaguely have recognised as something [Student too Dumb to Actually get There on Merit] abducted (somehow), but in reality none of them actually ever figured it out.
Anyway they very quickly figured out that this thing would be a bit of a massive problem when it proceeded to eat DeathLaser fire (quite literally, it got shot in the mouth multiple times), say its first words to the galaxy, and then go on a rampage, single-handedly (literally, it did it with one hand behind its back) cleaning both the [Obscure Synonym for Altruism] and the vessels boarding it, the [We Like Genocide] and the [Kill! Hurrr Durrr], of hostile presence, before commandeering all three and using a rudimentary knowledge of military tactics to outflank and trash the rest of the [Evil] Empire's in-system Navy.
Needless to say that, one 60-part pancakes-included-just-add-water quest later, the [Evil] Empire was on its knees.
The first words that that thing - a "Human", apparently ^((A/N: don't believe this, guys, I'm pretty sure that's misinformation!)**) spoke to the Galaxy are now forever burned - quite literally, with a plasma torch, along with detailed depictions of multiple exotic kinds of genitalia - into the Imperial Archives on the [Evil] Empire's home world of [Name Ending in '-Raxis'].
"I don't know who the hell you are, I don't know who the hell anyone is, I don't know how or why I'm here, but the Gravity's so low here that my muscles will atrophy in like a month if I don't get what I'm used to, I'm somehow naturally immune to your weapons, and you're doing something I strongly morally disagree with. Let's do this."
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