I saw a 1000 year old oil stain
It was from ancient Greece
I got a $1000 fine for taking a picture of myself.
It was an expensive self fee.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I purchased $1000 in Bose stock today
My accountant said it would be a sound investment.
My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..
Diabetes medication has a profit margin close to 1000%
Now that's just Insul(t)in'
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.
Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!
I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.
What a grand start to the weekend.
News just in: Local police have acquired 1000 bees
They're believed to be used as part of a sting operation
How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.
I received an email today from the owner of a German sausage processing plant, he said I could have it for only 1000€
I agreed and wired him the money. What’s the wurst that could happen?
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.
I said, “That’s outrageous!”
He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”
If you upload 1000 pictures on Instagram..
.. is it like uploading one picture in Instakilogram?
What do you call a $1000 door?
Of 1000 and 69, which the naughtier number?
1000, because it has 3 zeros.
What do you call 1000 laughing mega bytes?
What do you call a 1000 pound gorilla with a suit and tie and a machine gun?
What happens when you win a 1000 grammy's?
TIL there are 1000 types of bananas
They vary in color a lot. The ones that are lightest in shade are so because they lacatan.
I entered a dad joke competition and won $1000
What do you call a Spanish toilet that weighs 1000 kg
How do you get 1000 pikachus on a bus
I watch TV so much that I should get 1000 awards for it.
It's about time that I get some M-mys.
I just donated 1000$ to a blind children charity
not like the children are going to see any of it
My wife and I had an argument because I spent £1000 on a record collection.
It’s my decision and it’s vinyl.
What do you call a father that weighs 1000 pounds?
I burned over 1000 calories yesterday.
I accidentally left the brownies in too long
My parents think my kids are worth $1000
I don't think they're so grand.
Someone bet me £1000 that I couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf
I told them that I couldn't take the bet, the steaks were too high.
A brewery in Finland is selling 1000 packs of beer now.
Sounds like it'd be difficult to Finnish.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
My real estate agent lied to me.. he said that my house had 1000 carpet area
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..
I Can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals
I can never remember the Roman Numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500...
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !
Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
I can't recall how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals
I can't remember howto write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals...
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals
I was paid $1000 for this joke
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals.
I can't remember how to write the Roman Numerals 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500.
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