Here's a 50 y/o pun on a magnet
๐︎ 54
๐
︎ Aug 29 2020
A pail o' puns!
1. What is the most important drink in life?
Vitali-tea.
2. What do you call an uptight man with wet tapestry?
A wet blanket with a wet blanket.
3. Describe an uptight man with an erection holding an alcoholic beverage.
A stiff with a stiff with a stiff.
4. What do you call introverted window blinds?
A shutter-in.
5. What do you call an uncooked deer cookie?
Dat doe dough 'dough.
6. What do you call a plant's religion?
Agri-culture.
7. What do you call a football players' phone charger?
A Charger's phone charger.
8. What do you call a clock tower striking twelve?
High noon.
That's all I got.
๐︎ 27
๐
︎ Jun 13 2016
8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
๐︎ 103
๐
︎ Jan 13 2021
Twitter meme s t o l e n from facebook
๐︎ 104
๐
︎ Jan 03 2021
Out-dadded by my 5 y/o niece
I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed.
My niece chimes in and says, "not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count."
Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes i do. One, two, three, four."
๐︎ 9k
๐
︎ Oct 05 2020
What starts with 'O' and ends with 'nions' and sometimes make you cry?
๐︎ 50
๐
︎ Dec 05 2020
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
๐︎ 65
๐
︎ Dec 15 2020
From my 13 y/o son
Heโs trying to cut a panini sandwich and said โThis knife is not gonna cut it.โ
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Dec 30 2020
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ Dec 25 2020
I believe I have made a hum(o)rous (c)omedic joke.
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
๐︎ 325
๐
︎ Oct 26 2020
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?
๐︎ 123
๐
︎ Oct 12 2020
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
๐︎ 26
๐
︎ Dec 02 2020
The O.Henry Pun-Off is back โON!โ - Tongues of puns linger
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museumโs famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings theyโve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words youโve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
๐︎ 13
๐
︎ Nov 20 2020
11 year old named Kevin: I donโt know who Catherine OโHara is.
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Dec 04 2020
Did you know that the Type O was actually meant to be Type Zero but....
It was misread to be Type O blood. I guess you could call it a typo.
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Nov 24 2020
Recent father. Yesterday my wife told me we โwould be having dinner at around 6:30, 7 oโclockโ
I told her I might be running late and asked if we could make it 6:38 instead?
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Oct 23 2020
When Shaquille OโNeal gives you a birthday card, he always signs it with a reference to his favorite 80โs song.
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Nov 20 2020
What do you call a 60 y.o terrorist?
๐︎ 9
๐
︎ Nov 12 2020
Cardi O
๐︎ 459
๐
︎ Jun 18 2020
5 y/o: โhey dad, make some more jokes please
dad: โwhy do i need to make more jokes? iโve already made you
๐︎ 15
๐
︎ Oct 09 2020
This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
๐︎ 78
๐
︎ Jun 20 2020
My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.
I told him they were the letters of recommendation.
๐︎ 162
๐
︎ Jul 10 2020
How do you mend a broken Jack o' Lantern?
๐︎ 30
๐
︎ Sep 17 2020
I swear stairs are gonna be my d o w n fall, the way they keep s t a i r i n g at me...
๐︎ 3k
๐
︎ Feb 06 2020
O sh*t
๐︎ 20
๐
︎ Sep 04 2020
Teacher asked โWhat is the formula of water?โ Student said โH I J K L M N Oโ teacher said โthatโs not the formula of waterโ
Student said โyou said the formula was H to Oโ.
๐︎ 270
๐
︎ May 28 2020
My favorite author is S.O. Teric
Youโve probably never heard of him.
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Sep 21 2020
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Aug 09 2020
Got to stud-dee to get my de-gree in my fave subject, Pun-o-graphy !
๐︎ 65
๐
︎ May 29 2020
My 5 y.o. son walked up to me with his under armour shirt on backwards so the words were on the back.
He said, โI got back words!โ How did I not see that one coming?
๐︎ 21
๐
︎ Jul 11 2020
College offers some questionable class choices, but o you know which one is the most sketchy?
Art class: Pencil Drawing 101
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Aug 09 2020
I'd rather have a full bottle in front o' me...
Than a full frontal labotomy
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Aug 15 2020
My 10 y/o dad joke
He looks at me while heading to the fridge and says, "Hey mum I need ketchup to catch up on these hot dogs"
I laughed for several days and thought I would share it to make someone else smile.
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ Jul 27 2020
Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Aug 15 2020
"Let me get this straight, you want me to write a kids song about a dog with a funny "name-o"
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Aug 10 2020
What begins with o and ends w/ s?
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ Jul 04 2020
What did the O say to the other o?
๐︎ 54
๐
︎ Apr 19 2020
Itโs o-fish-ial
๐︎ 80
๐
︎ Jan 26 2020
That line O-O
๐︎ 6k
๐
︎ Jun 25 2019
What do you call "swiss cheese" w/o any holes?
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Jun 05 2020
O I C
๐︎ 5k
๐
︎ Apr 11 2019
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter
๐︎ 29
๐
︎ Oct 27 2020
How do you fix a broken jack-oโ-lantern?
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Nov 17 2020
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
๐︎ 10k
๐
︎ Dec 11 2019
What starts with โoโ and ends with โnionsโ and sometimes make you cry?
๐︎ 116
๐
︎ May 23 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.