What do you call a 4-year-old frog?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
My 4-year-old got crumbs in his eye and started rubbing his eye. He said it didn't hurt much and I said "Oh, so it's just a little irritating?"
He said "No, it's eye-itating."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
After seeing a dead bird I had to tell my 4 year old what it means.
I said
it Δt :
pro. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction.
pro. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
π︎ 902
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 381
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I've completed 4 years of being single today.
Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
From my 4 year old: Dad, i just realized why these things are called nappies...
...because its like napkin for your pee, so its called na-pee!
(proud dad moment)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
4 year-old daughter: Daddy, do you know what I'm going to name this cow from Chick-fil-a?
Moovie!
One man-tear was shed.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
If Trump wins in 4 years he will halt all shredded cheese production.
He is going to make Americans grate again . . .
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
I get it, you hated him 4 years ago ...
... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.
π︎ 120
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
This is my 4 year old daughters joke: Knock Knock?
Whoβs there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
No! Owl goes who. Car goes Beep! Beep!
π︎ 444
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
From my 4 year old daughter: What does a shoe call an octopus?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
At a job interview the interviewer asked me why i had a 4 year gap in my resume. I told him, that itβs because i went to yale. He looked impressed and told me iβm hired.
π︎ 79
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: Thatβs when I went to Yale... Interviewer: Thatβs impressive. You are hired.
Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
π︎ 32
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
My 4 year old daughter came crying that she couldn't find her Barbie dolls. Apparently, my 2 year old son threw them in fire last night for fun.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
(Got this one from my 4 year old) how do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Never been more proud
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants
but he's still making fun of me
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
My 4 Year Old is Working on Her Material...
Her - Knock knock!
Me - Who's there?
Her - Hungry!
Me - Hungry who?
Her - Hi hungry, I'm dad!
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
4 year old daughter gave me her Nintendo switch to charge..
I put it on the ground and backed up. I slowly raised my arm and yelled "chaaaaaarrrrggggeeee" , then I ran at it.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
A mom angrily told her 4 year old son to say counting if he wanted to get his lunch. So the boy started... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10...
I don't think he need that lunch anymore. He already 8
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
This morning my 4 year old son asked me - βwhat do shoulders do?β
π︎ 58
π
︎ May 04 2020
My 4 year old daughterβs first dad joke...Why did the dinosaur eat vegetables and fruit?
Because he didnβt like sour mice.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
Joke my 4 year old came up with. What did one pilot say to the other?
Whoβs flying this thing?!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
Tomorrow is International Mud Day, and I had this marvellous exchange with my 4 year old today, Sunday: "Better prepare your gumboots, tomorrow is Mud Day!" I exclaimed. My child, without missing a beat, replied:
"No it's not, it's MUNday!"
The apprentice has now become the master.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
4 year old got me today
We just got back into the car after shopping at Loweβs.
Me: Itβs hot in here, Iβm toasty.
4yo: Iβm going to spread jelly on you.
π︎ 108
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
My 4 day work week is like my 21 year marriage
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 07 2020
A joke from my 4 year old boy
How did the light bulb cross the road?
With legs!!
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 05 2020
4 year old asks, βDaddy can I have milkshakes for breakfast?β
Mommy: No. milkshakes are not for breakfast.
Me: Iβll give you milkshakes for breakfast!
Mommy: why would you offer him that?
4 y/o bounds into the kitchen, excited for milkshakes.
Me: hereβs a cup of milk. And hereβs some shakes! (Gently shakes 4 y/o)
Groans all around.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 31 2018
4 year old just told me this one: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
My 4.5 year old is on to me ... comes up to me and says:
βHi, Dad, my name is Thirsty, can I please have a cup of water?β
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
My 4 year old daughter just got me.
Her: I want the same thing for breakfast that we had yesterday.
Me picking her up: I want hugs.
Her in a very sarcastic tone: Are you going to eat the hugs?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 24 2019
My 4 year old got me...
"Daddy, will you remember me in 5 years?"
"Yes, dear."
"Daddy, will you remember me in 5 months?"
"Of course."
"Daddy, will you remember me in 5 minutes?"
"I hope so!"
"Daddy, will you remember me in 5 seconds?"
"Yes. Yes I will."
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"DAD! You said you would remember me!!!"
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 01 2016
My 4 year has surpassed me
Me: sweetie, you need to tell your friend no.
Daughter: no
Me: now tell her why
Daughter: why
Me: facepalm
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
My 4 year old son has been learning spanish all year and he still canβt say the word please.
Which i think is poor for four
π︎ 555
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
During the quarantine, my 4 year old has been learning Spanish. Yet, he still canβt say please.
Which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Jun 14 2020
My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.
He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 86
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
my 4 year old started learning Spanish, he still doesn't know what the Spanish for please is,
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
My 4-year old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown...
...he still can't say "please", though, which I think is "poor for four".
Edit: "Por favor" is Spanish for please. :)
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
Me to my 4 year old: "What are you going to be when you grow up?"
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
I tried to explain my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants,
but he's still making fun of me.
π︎ 92
π
︎ Oct 12 2019
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants
but heβs still poking fun at me.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That's when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.
Me: Thanks. I really need this yob.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
