Wistfully Puns

I think I have a melon collie.

When the old auctioneer came out of retirement to teach his trade, he noticed the paddle hanging on the wall behind the dean's desk. "Is that what you use to keep unruly students in line?"

The dean looked wistful and said, "No... no, there was a time, but now that's forbidden."

Went out grocery shopping and grabbed some thyme as I was planning to cook this soup I make that uses quite a bit of it. My girlfriend is helping me unload the groceries and notices the thyme, saying, "You know we still have a shaker of thyme right?"

I respond with a forlorn sigh and a wistful look into the distance, "Thyme sure flashes by..."