Kids are sick so the wife is worried about their weakened immune system making it easier to catch COVID…

So I asked her β€œwhat about their weekday immune system?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/just_one_tall_guy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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You're in a dirty fistfight against a gang of circus performers. Who do you take down first to weaken the whole team?

Go for the juggler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru9224
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Why does Thursday beat Saturday?

Because Saturday is weakened

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirkassim
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2022
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Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".

I was dazed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylicious17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Current events make it less attractive.

All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I don't want to use Cobra Kai's dirty leg sweeping tactics, but that John Kreese is just so dreamy...

He really makes me weaken the knees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnkorean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are sick only on weekdays.

Me: It must be my weakened immune system.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Dad, Son, and Magazine

Dad, here in this magazine it is written that masturbation significantly weakens sight. Is it true? He replies: Read for me. I can’t find my glasses anywhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keelssuper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Hurricane Bud is projected to make landfall at Cabo San Lucas.

It’s also projected to weaken in strength, and will be called Tropical Storm Bud Light.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyMo1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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How to do the stud finder joke - a step by step guide (may not work for all models of stud finder)

Discovered this today while hanging a curtain rod.

I am using the zircon one step stud finder, seen here http://m.acehardware.com//product/index.jsp?productId=1298011&KPID=997266&cid=CAPLA:G:Shopping_-Measuring_Tools/Marking_Tools-_New&pla=pla_997266&k_clickid=21a0e1ae-1f94-44cd-b27e-a6a83ba1fdc1

Begin by using the stud finder to locate a stud as normal. Release the button.

Lift the stud finder off the wall slightly and press the button. This will help calibrate the stud finder to "empty space", making it think that any hard surface is a stud.

Quickly place the stud finder on your chest, onto your breastbone, the stud finder should beep indicating it is on a stud.

Make joke as normal

This saves you from making the beep noise yourself, which, in my opinion weakens the joke.

This way the tool itself confirms that you're a stud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jsgunn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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