Wanted Man Puns

A list of puns related to "Wanted Man"

A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.

I couldn't sway him.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 03 2021
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A man's daughter wanted to have a tea party with him...

... the man agreed, but he doesn't have much experteas in the subject

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/WarriorCats423
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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A man in a watch store decided to buy a watch, but wanted it sprayed with Matte.

"Not on my watch" said the store clerk.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/youse_tobail32
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
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I got in a car accident with a snow man and wanted to warn oncoming traffic

So I put out some snow cones.

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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
📅︎ Jul 20 2020
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Wanted: man has been stealing tires off police cars.

Authorities have been working tirelessly to catch him.

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👤︎ u/iFunny_15_T0x1c
📅︎ Feb 19 2020
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When my mom told me she wanted to be a man, I couldn't see her anymore...

Because she was trans parent

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/LuitenantElo
📅︎ Jun 12 2020
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A man wanted to buy a good insecticide

"Is this good for wasps ?" a man asked the retailer.

"No, it kills them" the retailer replayed.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/The_lord_of_the_nuts
📅︎ Jun 24 2020
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A man walks into the pizza shop and orders a pizza. The worker asked if he wanted it cut into 4 pieces or 6 pieces.

The man said 4 because he probably wasn’t going to eat 6.

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👤︎ u/Mopi_is_short
📅︎ May 19 2020
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In heaven, there were two huge signs. The first read, "Men Who Did What Their Wives Told Them to Do." The line of men under this sign stretched as far as the eye could see. The second sign stated, "Men Who Did What They Wanted to Do." Only one man stood under that sign...

Intrigued, St. Peter said to the lone man, “No one has ever stood under this sign. Tell me about yourself."

The man shrugged and said, “My wife told me to stand here.”

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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There was a man that wanted to quit his job as a kids party entertainer but kept on procrastinating. Then one day he woke up and said to himself...

No more clowning around

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👤︎ u/gabrielc0208
📅︎ May 22 2019
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A hippy was working in a cake shop and decided he wanted to cut out the middle man

And so was invented the donut

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/notmikerealname
📅︎ Jan 14 2019
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A man wanted to impress his friends so he stole a train…

The police said "That's a loco motive."

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👤︎ u/jezmck
📅︎ Mar 05 2017
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A man wanted to jump off a building

A scientist who was there yelled at him: Don't, you have so much potential!

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👤︎ u/bladexp210
📅︎ Mar 22 2018
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A man wanted to sabotage his college’s data, so he paid his thumbdrive

It got corrupted

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👤︎ u/Darklorel
📅︎ Sep 22 2018
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My uncle was killed by a man with a metal leg joint, which was strange because he had always wanted one.

But I think he would still appreciate the iron-knee

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👤︎ u/WheresTheWombo
📅︎ Jul 24 2017
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A man and his wife went mattress shopping. He wanted a soft mattress, but she didn't.

No matter what he said, she was going to stand firm

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Sep 13 2018
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The man wanted to hit the complaint button during his massage but it was just out of reach

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but she really rubbed him the wrong way.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/stevehrowe2
📅︎ Jan 11 2018
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A man wanted to jump off a building

A scientist who was there yelled at him: Don't, you have so much potential!

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/bladexp210
📅︎ Mar 22 2018
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