What’s the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?

If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people

but they dont work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Comsicwastaken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
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Why are there no unemployed farmers?

They can get a job in any field.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 158
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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All week I’ve been trying to think of unemployment jokes....

....they don’t work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CommunityShower
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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I have a bunch of unemployment jokes

But they never work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Have you heard the joke about unemployment

Nevermind, i dont think its going to work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/420Rain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2021
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Unemployed Pilot (Dad still killing it at 70)

My dad just sent me this (couldn't help but groan, even as a dad myself):

I had a fella in painting and decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he is actually a Ryanair pilot on PUP (Pandemic Unemployment Payment - social welfare in Ireland for those affected by Covid), he is decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landingπŸ˜¬πŸ‘

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Garbarrage
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
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As a comedian, I tell jokes about the unemployed.

Unfortunately, none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CountryHicky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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I have a lottt of unemployment jokes...

...but none of them work...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Radish-Emotional
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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What do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed?

Bob

πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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An unemployed engineer opens a clinic..

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."

A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.

Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.

Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.

Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."

Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.

Doctor: "But this is $500..."

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 388
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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I tried to make jokes about the millions unemployed and out of work.

Sadly, they never work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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I have tons of unemployment jokes.

I'd tell you one but none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/electricianmagician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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I know a lot of jokes about unemployment

The only thing is none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/c_84
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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I was going to make a joke about the unemployed...

but I couldn’t find one that worked.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MiggyLT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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I heard all the hair stylists are suffering from depression due to unemployment.

They just want to like, dye.

(OC)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lazy-Potential
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2020
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Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.

I’ve got nothing to hide

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2020
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What's another word for a skilled gamer?

Ath-l33t.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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What did the employed dolphin say to the unemployed dolphin?

At least I have a porpoise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hinote21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2020
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Seeing such high unemployment rate, I thought of making a joke about unemployed people

but none of them worked...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Canned tuna isn’t eligible...

...For unemployment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/letscookeverything
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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I am making a movie about unemployed people constantly robbing banks.

They have done a few takes, but none worked

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EnigMaStatik
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2020
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Do you wanna hear a joke about unemployment?

Ehh, nevermind. Doesn't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 219
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigfatyeetacus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2019
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Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?

They are not making any scents πŸ‘ƒπŸΌ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rapswell
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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Working at the unemployment office sucks.

If you lose your job you still have to come in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2019
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Something I came up with being unemployed during COVID...

Me to friend: "Hey is your washing machine working?"

Friend: "Yeah"

Me: "Darn, this economy is so unfair that your washing machine can work but I can't"

Friend: groan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Amanat361
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2020
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What do you call a medieval airplane builder?

Aerosmith

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nice_fucking_kitty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2020
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I was about to tell a joke about unemployment

but it needs some work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAccountofBrian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2019
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I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people.

But typically, none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people..

but unfortunately none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 265
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/unclegardener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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i got plenty of jokes about unemployed people

but none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/merlin159
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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I have a bunch of jokes about people who are unemployed.

But none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 255
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2020
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I was going to make a joke about unemployment....but non of them work
πŸ‘οΈŽ 116
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jj_arora_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2020
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people

But none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shikidoodles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people

but none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 243
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anam_Cara
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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I have A LOT of unemployment jokes.

But none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Redwrx345
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people,

but none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aj10205
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people

But none of them seem to work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drunkparrot69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2020
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What’s the worst part of working for the department of unemployment?

When you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 221
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zero_ben
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
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I HAVE A FEW PUNS ABOUT UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE

But none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deanosuprema
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work
πŸ‘οΈŽ 541
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/articpeepergeneral
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2019
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Jokes about unemployed people are not funny.

They just don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sexxc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2020
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I have a lot of jokes about the unemployed people

But none of them work!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 157
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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I have some jokes about unemployed people, but I can’t tell them to you

None of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sklus20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2020
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I was trying to think of a joke about unemployment

... but I couldn't think of a way to make it work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cheesejacket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
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I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people...

But none of them work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 555
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kanalolidragonp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2018
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OK. I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.

I’ve got nothing to hide.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2019
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people

but none of them seem to work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 260
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/woodybg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2018
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I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people.

But none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joepamps
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2017
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