I tried donating blood today... NEVER AGAIN!!! Too many questions.

Like, "Who's blood is this?", "How did you get it?"

"Why is it in a bucket?"

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoMoreDays
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said she wanted divorce because i play too many video games

What a stupid thing to fallout 4

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightshade_1612
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know in the 1950’s Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?

Now you can only do a-low-ha

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/your-turn
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...

It was overcast.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...

Always trying to get the symphony vote.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
How many fire flies does it took too screw in a light bulb?

No one knows exactly, but it takes a lot. They aren't that bright.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobbert84
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My friends say I make too many action movie puns.......

I told them I can't help it, old habits DIE HARD.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dark_Byte
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know how to tell someone tells too many bad jokes at a butcher shop?

Cuz even the beef gets corny

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcvroen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when too many people become stupid all at once?

An epi-dumb-ic.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because I made too many Linkin Park references

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.

The judge told him to expect a long sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elwheelio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Me when people tell me I make too many puns
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atrashx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve seen way too many Hindsight is 2020 jokes tonight.

I should’ve seen it coming, but... you know.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusk118
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. β€œThat’s one too many!” says the customer.

The clerk replies β€œIt’s a freebie”

πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because I made too many Green Day references

Do you have the time to listen to me whine

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of my poetry club because I made too many Linkin Park references

But who could rock a rhyme like this?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it if you die from eating too many chickpeas?

Hummuscide

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicey_mouseturds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Showtime has far too many commercials on their channel.

It’s just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balbright
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?

He ogre-dosed

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs

It was his Thyme

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I have made myself too many places to store books.

I have no shelf control.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Proud of my son coming up with this joke.. Doctor: don’t eat too many apples...

Otherwise you will turn into an Iron man

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4nish1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife locked me out for telling too many corny, obnoxious word play jokes...

Now I’m outside banging and hollering β€˜Oh PUN the door!!!’ β€˜Oh PUN the door!!!’

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather died after eating too many gingerbread houses last Christmas.

Doctors said it was munch housin’ syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy who did my urinalysis made way too many jokes to be a professional

It was a complete pisstake

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tasty69Toes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
If you have too many 12s…

...it’s gross!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I have way too many gloves

If anyone wants them, you're welcome to take them off my hands

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to buy some bees from a beekeeper, I asked him for 100 bees and he counted out 110. I said "No, no that's too many" He replied...

"Dont worry, those are freebees"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StonleyLoner319
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Had too many drinks at the pub last night, so the lads suggested I leave the car there and take the bus home.

Turns out I was in no fit state to drive it home either.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
So many people these days are too judgmental

I can tell just by looking at them

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtendedMacaroni
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Too many people have been making COVID-19 jokes

Frankly, I'm sick of it

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?

Roverdose

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jelly_frijole
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play that game.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpiceCake68
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
people are making too many coronavirus jokes

like seriously? people die from it, its a pundemic

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loangeless
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I ate too many rowing paddles

Now I feel oar-full

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Too many apostrophes for comfort.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't let my kids go online. There's too many PDF files on there!
πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a reddit post about someone having too many Dracula figurines

I knew my brother had the same problem, but the reddit account wasn't his. I told him about it and he said it was his post, so I asked "Throw away account?" He said "Yeah, good idea, I didn't think about that"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NO3-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Too.Many.Puns.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Milbei_Culapte
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
r/memes have too many puns...
πŸ‘︎ 537
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaRomea
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I got sick from taking too many supplements for my anemia.

It was ironic.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgri0b
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss fired me for cracking too many Asian jokes.

It ended my Korea.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the lumberjack who got fired for cutting too many trees ?

He saw too much.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you eat too many ciabatta rolls?

You get a ciabody!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quegood
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
So many people are too judgmental these days...

I can tell just by looking at them

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abhishek26997
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
So many people these days are too judgemental.

I can tell just by looking at them.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend was found guilty of using too many commas.

The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juicy-tomato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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