Because that's his name.
Me: No, I said... “I’m giving up! Drinking for a month!”
I'm not too sure, but Tommy, he'll figure it out.
Because all of his students get Hi Marks.
.
He's got too much thyme on his hands.
I walked out of The Room more than once.
(Please don't kill me)
They both started as a joke but ended up finding success by being ridiculously bad
Tommy proudly answered, "North, South and Tad!"
Creating a superhero for a project in english and we came up with the Loan Shark, just need names for what he goes by when he isn't fighting student debt. We thought Finn for his first name, but can't come up with anything else.
Little Joey asked his brother, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen." Tommy responded.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy." Tommy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the priest said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer!"
My wife: "Honey after you get a vasectomy you have to go to regular check ups so we don't get a whoopsie daisey" Me: "Or a whoopsie Tommy or a whoopsie Bobby"
So I donated blood recently, and one of the Doctors(?) Nurses(?) for the Red-Cross named Tommy was a jokester. So I start donating and he is cracking all these jokes and at one point he gets to talking about his childhood. Tommy says, "When I was a kid I had a step-ladder." I asked him what was special about it afterwards and he said, "well I never met my real ladder, but this one did the job decently enough..."
Que groans from everyone at the donation center.
When we were on a family vacation years ago my sister's new boyfriend made a Collect call so he could talk to her. She comes running in the room gushing, "Tommy called me Collect!"
Dad says, "Pssh...Why would you waste your time on a guy that doesn't even know your name?"
