Has anyone been to Engagement, Ohio ?
It's a little place between Dayton and Marion.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
If anyone is alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, please let me know..
I really need to borrow some chairs.
Has anyone read the prequel to Hamlet...?
If anyone dares to make fun of Satan's hairpiece
there will be Hell Toupee
Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
Hey, anyone know any good Sword fighting puns ? Trying to think of any
.. words with a dual meaning.
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?
Does anyone know how long it takes to repair a hearing aid?
I sent mine away 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since.
Don't ever listen to anyone telling you that you can't be something you want to!!.....
Everyone told Beethoven too that he can't be a musician just because he was deaf........
Did He Listen???!!
Anyone out there any preference for their favorite island to visit..?
Would anyone like to buy a mask for their duck?
They aren't fancy or nothing but they fit the bill!
Does anyone know how to get stains out of cloth diapers?
We've tried everything, but it remains undie turd.
You’re not going to offend anyone with jokes about legless cows.
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.
There aren't any good candied-dates.
A confectioner just couldn’t break bad news to anyone
He kept sugarcoating everything
When I first heard the proposal to rename Oklahoma City after Ohio, I was confused as to why anyone would want that. But after hearing someone explain the logic behind it, I thought to myself:
Anyone want to help me make a TV show about Abraham Lincoln?
The plan is to shoot it in front of a live audience.
Does anyone know what happened to that guy who got arrested for dealing oregano?
Last I heard, he was doing thyme.
When my friend craves seafood, he doesn’t care what anyone else wants to eat.
He has shellfish desires.
Does anyone want to hear a joke about quarantine?
But probably not you, it's an inside joke.
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard
I’m never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
Why didn’t the oak tree talk to anyone?
It didn’t want to dialogue.
Shout out to anyone who doesn't know what the opposite of in is
Can anyone explain this pun to me?
Help, can someone help me make my elevator pitch more interesting, and can anyone think of a good Egyptian related pun to put as an opener?
Has anyone heard about the new feature on computers to pander toward the newer generation?
It's called Ctrl-ALT-YEET.
I carry a stone with me to throw at anyone who sings Christmas carols before Thanksgiving.
It is my jingle bell rock.
If anyone wants to come and talk about why my stuff keeps getting stolen, the door is always open.
[pun request] can anyone think of a pun relating to giannis antetokounmpo and rabbits/bunnies? Trying to come up with a pet name
Does anyone talk to themselves?
Or is it just me
credit to /u/Maacca19
I was in a cab one time and got curious. I asked the cabbie if he liked his job. He said, “Oh sure. I’m out of the house, away from my nagging wife and I don’t have anyone telling me what to do.”
I told him, “Turn right at the next corner.”
Thor’s brother didn’t want anyone to know he was helping him save Asgard
Does anyone know how to charge milk?
My wife said DO NOT tell this joke to anyone else
Holmes and Watson are about to go out on an investigation. Before leaving, Watson says he needs to use the restroom. He goes in and 5 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, 15 minutes pass. Finally Holmes goes to the door and asks if he's feeling constipated. Watson replies, "Yeah, no shit Sherlock!"
Do you know anyone who's going to be alone this Xmas ?
Please let me know....I need to borrow some chairs.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
It turns out that identity theft is a crime.
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.
If anyone wants to come and talk about why my stuff keeps getting stolen...
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?
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