Why didn't the ancient Egyptians swim?

Eldest is learning about hieroglyphics and ancient Egypt.

"Did you know the ancient Egyptians didn't think they could swim?"

"That makes sense, actually." He's quite sceptical of 90% of what I say in a certain tone, "what with all the desert and stuff."

I couldn't believe my luck. He must've clocked my eyes lighting up, a slight twitch into a slight smile. I've got him hook, line and sinker here. Take it home.

"Na mate, they were in de nile."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tomage12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2023
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I tink what you're making is a. . .
๐Ÿ‘︎ 144
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/arctic_fox05
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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Do you tink?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 248
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/krivoto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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How does coffee help you in the morning?

It makes me coffeedent

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chinese_snow
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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An Irishman finds a genie

All offenses aside, Iโ€™m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genieโ€™s lamp and says to himself โ€œooh laddy what have we found here? I tink Iโ€™ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!โ€

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genieโ€™s form becomes solid. It speaks, โ€œOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.โ€

The Irishmanโ€™s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts โ€œtree wishes?! Thatโ€™s just brilliant!โ€ For me first wish, Iโ€™ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.โ€

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. โ€œWell I tink weโ€™ll have to put this to the test!โ€ He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, โ€œAhhhhhhhh!!!โ€ And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping โ€œbulp!โ€, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. โ€œWELL Iโ€™LL BE! THATโ€™S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!โ€

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman โ€œMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?โ€

The Irishman looks to the genie and says โ€œoh tatโ€™s easy! Iโ€™ll have two more of these!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bbacconnn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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super moon

I'm visiting my parents from out of town and we all had gone outside to see the super moon and the meteor shower.

My dad waited until I said something along the lines of "oh wow look at the super moon."

That's when it started. He began singing "Super moon, super moon, it's super moonay" to the tune of "super freak." My mom, not to be outdone, joined in.

I'm clearly not having it so after seeing the super moon I go back inside. They follow me inside and I trip over their dog Tink. Annoyed I said, "Stupid Tink" setting off a new chorus of Super Tink.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mmmdonutspopme
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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