Theodosius The Great Puns

by John Lord, LL.D.

        Theodosius is lauded as a Christian prince even more     
     than Constantine, and as much as Alfred.  He was     
     what is called orthodox, and intensely so.  He saw in    
     Arianism a heresy fatal to the Church.  "It is our     
     pleasure," said he, "that all nations should steadfastly     
     adhere to the religion which was taught by Saint Peter    
     to the Romans, which is the sole Deity of he Father, the     
     Son, and Holy Ghost, under an equal majesty; and we   
     authorize the followers of this doctrine to assume the      
     title of Catholic Christians."  If Rome under Damasus   
     and the teachings of Jerome was the seat of orthodoxy,   
     Constantinople was the headquarters of the interest which     
     all classes took in the metaphysics of theology.  Said     
     one of the writers of the day: "If you desire a man to     
     change a piece of silver, he informs you wherein the    
     Son differs from the Father; if you as the price of     
     a loaf, you re told in reply that the Son is inferior       
     to the Father; if you inquire whether the bath is ready,   
     the answer is that the Son was made out of nothing."   
     The subtle questions pertaining to the Trinity were the    
     theme of universal conversations, even amid the calam-    
     ities of the times.  
        Theodosius, as soon as he had finished his campaign   
     against the Goths, summoned the Arian archbishop of    
     Constantinople, and demanded his subscription to the     
     Nicene Creed or his resignation.  It must be remem-     
     bered that the Arians were in an overwhelming ma-     
     jority in the city, and occupied the principle churches.     
     They complained of the injustice of removing their    
     metropolitan, but the emperor was inflexible; and    
     Gregory Nazianzen, the friend of Basil, was promoted    
     to the vacant See, in the midst of popular grief and   
     rage.  Six weeks after Theodosius expelled from    
     all the churches of his dominion, both of bishops and   
     of presbyters, those who would not subscribe to the Ni-     
     cene Creed.  It was a great reformation, but effected    
     without bloodshed.    
        Moreover, in the year 381 he assembled a general    

Say it with me.

Y’all know the story.

In’na first of days, come to be that Man and Snake, they both live in Magnolia Garden. They come there to visit on wisdom where Yah can’t see, all quiet, all holy. But Yah, he already found out about Magnolia Garden, and he come down off that cloud with his bow and ax, fin to split Man down his middle seam and steal Snake’s prize.

“You gwan go through it, boy,” Snake had said to Man, and Man, he knew it. “Chop me up. Take a piece of that Revelation Heart and cook it up real nice. You gwan need that revelation to find your way back here after you’re gone.”

So Man does what he says, and he splits Snake up with his axe into thirteen pieces, and takes his Revelation Heart, and cooks it up real nice. He does this right outside of Atlanta, in the Magnolia Garden. He swallow a piece, and then he throw the rest way up high in a magnolia tree where Yah cain’t see. But just as it go down his throat, Yah, he gwan in in the Garden.

Man cain’t wrestle with Yah, and Snake cain’t neither. Yah, he already chased all the snakes out of St. Louis, which is why they came down to Magnolia Garden. So Yah grabs Man by his heels and his hair and pulls him straight down the middle and tears him clean in half. And that part’s just like the Sooner version: from the left part of his body, you get Sister Eve; from the right, you get Brother Adam.

They’s confused, the two of them, Brother Adam and Sister Eve. They got an ache, and that ache -- y’all feel it now, brothers and sisters? -- that ache is the scar where they got split.

And so they go to Yah, and they tell him, “Pappy Yah, I ain’t feelin’ good. I got an ache down deep. I think I’m hungry.” And Pappy Yah, he don’t want to let them know that ain’t neither of them a whole person, and that’s why they’re hurting. So he tell them, “You ain’t hungry and there ain’t no reason to be hungry. Don’t you eat nothin’ in Magnolia Garden.”

And Snake, he dead. Ain’t nobody to tell them different. And so this goes on: Brother Adam, he come down to Pappy Yah, and he say, “I ain’t feelin’ so good,” and Pappy Yah, he says that Magnolia Garden is paradise, and there ain’t no reason to feel bad. And Sister Eve, she come down to Pappy Yah, and she say, “I’m so hungry,” but Pappy Yah says there ain’t no food in Magnolia Garden. And they all miserable, every last one of them.

But Snake? They set out a call to every dragonfly and every firefly, and they all come runnin’ from all over the South to tend t

[depleted]

Then it's a soap opera

Piano Reeves

Dear Texas,

At a time when my fellow Minnesotans are shamefully gloating over situation Texas is enduring now, when blame and armchair-prepping and fear is rampant, I just want to focus on the positive for a moment and say how inspiring I find you all.

I saw images in The Atlantic today of a lot of suffering, but also images of people making the best of things - chopping up palettes for heat, having dinner by candlelight, improvising water and winter clothes. I saw people really helping each other - business owners who opened their locations for use as warming centers, neighbors saving stranded cars, volunteers rescuing near-frozen sea turtles, and Texans calmly and quietly waiting in line for groceries or propane. You Texans are downright heroic.

You know what I didn't see? Riots. Looting. Pushing and shoving and fighting for supplies. Every man going out for himself. When the lights of civilization turned off at the worst possible time, know this: Texans did not become wolves. They stayed strong. They helped each other. You are the absolute best of America, and I couldn't be prouder to call you all my fellow Americans.

Godspeed, and stay warm.

Today is the day number 159 from the last full Nintendo Direct, and today it hasn't been announced so it's not very likely to happen this week. Every time I open Nintendo's Twitter I see lots of people commenting with images that they want the direct, and others telling them to relax or to shut up. They are going insane, every post is full of rage haha.

Meanwhile, here on the Nintendo Switch sub it's almost total silence. It feels strange, last year it was a festival of investigation, guessing, digging into shady forums to find leaks, etc. What is happening?

Also, this is the situation: No announced release dates for Nintendo games beyond March, and March is around the corner.

Personally, I always find fun talking here about predictions and reading shitposts about the Directs and having fun, it's a bit sad that the sub has become so serious these days, but well, what's your opinion?

I just wanted to tell you my observations and see what's your opinion on this. Did you like that days where we would all discuss everything Nintendo Direct related over and over? Did you also find Twitter has gone crazy? Did other social networks do it too? Do you think we're going to have a Direct this week? This month? THIS YEAR? Only Reggie Doug Bowser knows...

So, take this post as a place to talk about anything Direct related, as it seems nobody is making posts about Directs or mods are deleting that posts please don't delete this one thanks

Edit:

Lol, look at this tweet from Nintendo of America, it's like they're torturing us haha!

https://twitter.com/NintendoAmerica/status/1227396904654426114

Edit: I'm sorry I can't answer everyone, the post blew up and I just can't keep up with all the comments! I hope you enjoyed this post and that it makes the wait for the next Direct a bit easier!

Only driven from time to time!

It’s all about G-sus.

I got them all the other Dickens’ books though.