Theodosian dynasty Puns

Hi Reddit, I'm a third year student studying history at the University of New South Wales. Currently I'm writing my major essay on the topic of Theodosius and the Late Roman army, specifically after Adrianople and the reforms that took place to cover the losses. I'm doing my preliminary research now and I would like some input on how to approach it.

I do not expect people to do my assessment but just some good general information so that I know where to head off. Also any names of good historians and primary sources would be more than appreciated :).

Thanks

Note: This is my first ever post on Reddit, go easy on me.

https://preview.redd.it/v6524jqwxva81.png?width=759&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b2e3eafad1faf868d43a6efaf2e15bb32e75fb6

Hello and welcome to the second Ante Bellum country preview regarding the upcoming 1.6 'Legacy of Seljuk' update. Today, I would like to show what is perhaps the most exciting part of the entire update - a total overhaul of the Byzantine content! Without further ado, let's begin with their backstory!

In AD 1204, when the Varangian Guard cast the Venetian mongrels into the sea, and the Imperial Navy set their fleet ablaze, many had hoped that the dawn of a new resurgent era was nigh. Alas, such optimism was rapidly dashed against the rocks of the Golden Horn. Despite facing a crisis which may have seen them hanged from the Theodosian Walls, the Angelid dynasty nonetheless proved themselves utterly incapable of malicious negligence and inept management of the Eastern Roman Empire. With nothing but the most opulent degeneracy on full display and never a care in the world, the House of Angelos was quickly taken advantage of by the aristocracy.

Having maintained their useless emperors as figureheads, the Constantinopolitan clique would aid in further advancing the Byzantine nosedive, filling their coffers while the people starved and fled eastwards. Even against the threat of Bulgarian invasion in the 13th century, the imperial regime did nothing in response.

Yet, when Leon Gabras took up arms and saved the empire, he was hastily banished to a governorship in Anatolia. With an impending Turkish invasion, it was expected that he would perish, no longer posing a threat to the machinations of the political elite. This assumption proved false, and the Saviour of Thrace declared unilateral independence from Constantinople and from the Empire, having concluded that the Roman dream was long dead.

Well over a century has passed since those times, and Constantinople is in shambles; the city's population numbers at a meagre 20,000 and - outside of the merchant and palace districts, is in total disrepair. A recent defeat against the Bulgarian Empire has also halved the Roman rump state's size, while simultaneously severing the land connection from Attica to the capital.

On the other hand, the Nicene junta has benefited greatly from the decades-long influx of refugees. Fleeing Seljuk, Bulgar, and Angelid oppression alike, these desperate folk recognise the Gabras kingdom as the best hope for a Greek future, but the fledgling realm's tria

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

Long read incoming.

#Prelude

Ubisoft obviously has zero qualms with transporting Eivor to increasingly different locations from dark ages Norway and England. Throughout the DLCs she has travelled from mysterious Ireland and its druids to the fortified Frankish realms and the city of Paris - all places thoroughly impacted by the Norsemen stampedes.

But places like England and Ireland were mere backwaters on a European level compared to the continuation of the Roman empire. It's what we call today the Byzantine Empire, as it was dubbed by later historians, with its capital city, Constantinople - Miklagard in Old Norse - being one of the most developed places in the world at the time.

You might wonder what do the Scandinavian Vikings rampaging through the British isles have to do with a Mediterranean Empire on the other side of Europe. But if you're not a history buff you probably would be surprised to know of Scandinavian mercenaries in the Romans' service as early as 874 - just one year after Valhalla's beginning. That was the year the Kievan Rus' signed a peace treaty with the Romans (led by Basil I) after hostilities, with a clause obliging the Rus' to send men to serve the Romans. New treaties after new hostilities between 907 and 911 allowed Rus' men to serve as mercenaries in the Empire as a right. Varangian mercenaries served as early as 902 fighting the Emirate of Crete and various other locations and foes over the years. Eventually, in 988, the Varangian guard was officially constituted by Basil II and served mainly as bodyguards to the Emperor himself, comprised mainly of Scandinavian and later Anglo-Saxon soldiers. However, the events of 988 are a bit too late for Eivor to be taking any part in, so the ideal setting would be during the first treaties with the Rus'.

Basil I's reign itself was one of intrigue and non-stop ambition. He was initially an Armenian layman who was elevated to the second-highest position in the realm under emperor Michael. He later assassinated him and took the throne for himself, starting the Macedonian dynasty and ushering a golden age for the Eastern Roman Empire. He reconquered land in every direction, battling the Arabs and their Caliphate in southern Italy, Greece, Cyprus and Dalmatia, as well as of course the wars with the Rus' that allowed the entry of Varangian mercenaries in one of the strongest states in Europe.

#(Straight To) The Point

The Byzantine Empire is an ideal setting for Eivor's next adventure.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

The game has been out for over 6 months now and there's a fair amount of information out there by now but at one point I decided I wanted to really focus on development and see how far I could take it. I'm not the greatest of optimisers but I figured I wasn't going to get very far unless I could really figure out how the system worked, so here are a few bits and pieces I've learned:

Development

Every county in the game has a development score between 0 and 100. The wiki lists the starting development of every county in the game as at the 867 start and the 1066 start. Constantinople is typically the highest development county in the world in the absence of a concerted effort by the player. Rome is typically second, Cordoba third and there are also several contenders in India around the Ganges and down south in Madurai.

You want to have as much development as you can get. There are no downsides to high development. It speeds up your technological progress and it boosts your income. Specifically, the increments by which your culture researches new technological innovations are determined by the average development of all counties of your culture. The culture head's Learning an perks will determine the percentage chance of increasing progress towards technological innovations but average development determines how much progress is added each time it triggers.

Neighbouring counties

Development bleeds across county borders and the lower development county receives a bonus to its monthly development based on the difference in relative development between it and the counties around it. A county with 10 Development next to a county with 15 development will receive 0.5 development growth each month until it reaches 11 development, then 0.4 per month and so on until it fully catches up. However, a county with more development than any of its neighbours will not increase at all on its own. Another source of development growth is required.

Raw development growth

It is important to note that there is a difference between raw development growth and percentage development growth which is that percentage development growth does nothing on its own. A maxed out Guilds building in a city give +40% development growth to the county it is in, but if the raw development growth is 0.0 then an extra 40% of that is still nothing. Aside from neighbouring counties there are only 2 sources of raw development growth: th

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.