I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....
You should play defense, no offense.
So I ask for something easy at a restaurant, and the server recommends “well the chicken strips for 6$”
“Maybe it will but it doesn’t help with my hunger”
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?
Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? I found out why it happened.
He couldn’t see that well.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew of the shelves.
“Well, this thing’s all screwed!” Wife shouts as the leg breaks off my handmade dining table today.
“Dang!” I replied. “I really thought I’d nailed it.”
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
Well, I got my vaccine today but the nurse put it in the top of my leg.
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
what's the most well-known cake in social media?
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, “I like it well done.”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didn’t work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
Well, I decked the Halls today...
They kept coming over singing those damn Christmas carols. Bah humbug!
Someone said I wasn’t very smart because I never read anything. Well it so happens I was reading an article just the other day
It said Juicy.
Turns out it was an article of clothing.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a tired out dog?
One wears a suit and the other just pants.
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they’re working on a self driving boat as well.
They’re going to call it the iAye
A husband and wife were at a marriage counselor. The wife complained, "he only talks about Star Wars! I've had it. I'm leaving him!" The counselor turned to the husband: "well?"
The husband looked at his wife and said, "divorce is strong with this one."
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he can’t see that well!
Why did the man fall into a well?
Cause he couldn't see that well!
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle..?
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?
Because he didn't see that well.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?
Why did the partially blind man fall into a well?
Because he could not see that well.
Why did the half-blind man fall into a well?
He couldn't see that well.
Why did the farmer fall in the well?
Because he didn’t see that well.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle?
Why did the blind man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well
Why did the old man fall in the well
He couldn’t see that well
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?
Because he didn't see that well!
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a badly dressed man on a bicycle?
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press conference
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
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