I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
The ocean must have really bad social anxiety.
It never says hi. It just waves
Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
The Social Security Administration
I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.
I did it to make hens meet.
Did you know Bennie and The Jets were the first group to social distance ?
Sloths are the most social animals.
They always want to hang out.
This is the peak of my social life
There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.
They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......
I feel like I've regressed to an earlier age because of all the social distancing.
My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....
I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!
Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.
Did you hear about the letter X being the most anti-social letter in the alphabet?
Everyone knows why but him.
I’m a real social guy, I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...
Right now everyone in Cleveland is taking social distancing very seriously. Even the walkway around the lake is empty
Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement.
But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.
As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y
Why did the military general refuse to use social media?
It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet.
Which social network has the most avid readers in the world?
What is the difference between an embarrassing social situation and a fake dad?
Nothing, they're both faux pas.
My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.
Another season, another bad crop.
The pig mascot of the local college's male social organization died, so they decided to sell its meat...
They called them Frat Brats.
Did you hear about the social media app the D.E.A made?
Have you heard of the new book about social media?
What happens if you get a question about communism on the Social Studies test?
You're likely to lose Marx
The perfect social media platform for a so called "army of one"
I imagine he/she'd like to hang out in r/me.
On the social studies teacher's board
What did the disabled banana do after he got ripped off by social security?
What did the social studies book say to the math book?
You're full of problems.
As told by my coworker's 11 y/o son.
What can you make with all the Father's Day social media posts?
My girlfriend the social media expert.
Girlfriend: I really want to hit 200 followers!
Me: Well that's more than a little violent!
Did you hear about the guy that deleted his social media account?
They say he dropped off the face of the book.
The ACLU is filing suit against Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, and a number of other social media sites.
Apparently, they all have a long history of profiling.
I got my kids to believe that my sister, who we rarely see, owns the nickname social.
Now when we all meet up every few months they greet her with "Hey auntie social".
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