A list of puns related to "The Set Up"
It said “Out of Orifice”.
Guess he had to deal with the aftermath...
A Band-Aide
The clerk asked, "2:30?"
I replied, "Yes very much."
When I came home, everything was just a big mesh.
It’s a night and day difference
I still think “lots of guillotines” was a correct answer
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...
I said, “That’s outrageous!”
He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”
You have just staged a coupe.
It cost him an arm and a leg...
I think that's alarming.
was a mazing
...'' You see? Many hands make light work.''
They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was
the chip monk!
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
A man makes an outline of a duck and cuts it out. An egg falls right in the middle. Now he has an egg in stencil crisis
finally it dawned on me.
Sorry for going on a tangent
Me: How did you do on the muscles and bones test?
Son: I mixed up the cranium and the skull.
Me: That was a boneheaded mistake.
Son: (Sarcastic) Ha ha.
I guess he didn't find my joke humerus.
He raised the bar.
I love my boss... every few months, my boss and i find ourselves in the break room with a couple other people. He will take a sip of his freshly-poured coffee and loudly say, "ugh, this coffee tastes like MUD" ... and then he looks at me expectantly ... and I dutifully reply "that's because it was just GROUND this morning." The other people within earshot hate us when they realize they have been tag-team dad-joked
We were both pretty tired since we woke up at 3AM. When we get to our seats, I pulled out my e-reader. My wife looks at me and says "How can you read?"
"Well, I guess I would have to thank my parents for teaching me when I was a kid..."
Cost about $4.50
It was a running gag.
It was intense, just like how we were camping.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
Does it make it ambitextrous?
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
Someone yelled back from the other side of camp. “YO SEND ME TEA.!”
'e bowl-a!
He told us his little son (1 year old) had a great big poo in his toybox and there's shit all over the abacus.
"Bet you didn't count on that!" said I, proudly!
It was his Frodo-Booth.
Me: banging an ice cube tray on the kitchen counter to get the ice out
Dad: Who's making all that racket?
Me: Me, I'm trying to break the ice
Dad: Why, is nobody talking to you? Ahahaaaaaaa.
Dad goes back to eBay
I was busy cooking us pancakes for breakfast when she came out with this one:
Her: Dad you're a pancake.
Me: Huh? I'm not a pancake.
Her: Hi Not-a-pancake, I'm Silvia.
Me: proud tears of joy
Some of my family was watching the Bachelorette the other night and they were introducing some of the contestants and what their jobs are. One of the contestants was an erectile dysfunction specialist.
"Well that doesn't sound like a very hard job"
I cracked up at myself.
...."I think your refrigerator is broken. This ice is coming out melted!"
Yesterday, we had a birthday for my daughter. Her cupcakes had her nickname (Mae, like mine) on three, a letter per cupcake. She ate the A.
Around 10ish this morning I realized only M and E were left. So I knew exactly what I wanted to do..
When my son came home from school, he asked what after school snack was.
Me "I was gonna say cupcakes, but they have my name on them"
Him "...M and E?"
Me "uh, yeah. That's ME."
Down on his farm, Old MacDonald was hosting his annual talent contest amongst his animals and announced that, this year, the theme was Shakespeare.
All of his livestock had been busily and excitedly rehearsing because they knew that 1st prize was to be a gigantic gazebo festooned with flashing electric lights, a glitter ball, a speaker system and turntables.
Competition was fierce; the chickens performed Othello, the horse chose Hamlet, the sheep Romeo and Juliet and the cow performed Richard III.
After much deliberation, the farmer and his wife ordered a hushed silence and announced: "Cow is the winner of our disco tent."
He pulls over to investigate and discovers that a man has been there for quite some time. When asked why, the man says he's living Life In the Grass Lane.
Daughter: Maid Marian is pretty for a cartoon.
Me: yeah, she's a fox!
http://images.wikia.com/disney/images/b/bc/Maid-Marian-disney-animal-heroines-12876193-720-480.jpg
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.