A White House Staffer Almost Walked in on Press Secretary Jen Psaki using the restroom.

The P was silent.

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📅︎ Jun 01 2021
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Sebastian Vettel told this joke today in the press conference before the Monaco grand prix

There's a matchstick climbing up the hill who gets really tired and exhausted.

He sees a hedgehog on the top of the hill and says, "if only I had known there was a bus, I would have taken the bus."

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📅︎ May 19 2021
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A press conference was held with the lead of the school's administration about bullying

He said it has to be stopped, it's a matter of principal

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📅︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why did the popcorn want to press charges?

Because it was a-salt-ed!

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📅︎ Jan 16 2021
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Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?

Son: "What's it called?"

Dad: "Month."

Son: "Huh?"

Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".

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👤︎ u/Sando75
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
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👤︎ u/danarchist
📅︎ Nov 09 2020
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I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.

It makes cents if you think about it.

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📅︎ Oct 05 2020
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Why was the Press Secretary hard to understand?

She wasn't McEnany sense.

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📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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Why did the Karen press ctrl+alt+del?

She wanted to see the task manager

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👤︎ u/TJVpower
📅︎ Mar 06 2020
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Which key on the keyboard does Lewis Hamilton like to press the most ?

- F1.

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📅︎ Apr 24 2020
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I don't trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.
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👤︎ u/Deeman_27
📅︎ Jun 18 2017
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I was doing the bench press at the gym the other day...

I just had to get some things off my chest.

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👤︎ u/cellomold
📅︎ Nov 12 2019
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My best friend wanted to vent to me about his inability to perform a proper bench press in the gym... I told him to get it off his chest.
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📅︎ Jul 13 2019
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The press found out their is a secret vegetable garden in the White House.

The White House leaks made headlines.

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📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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What happens to the car if you press the brake and the accelerator at the same time?

It takes a screenshot

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👤︎ u/ihasanali
📅︎ Sep 30 2018
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If cats and dogs watch tv. Do they press paws in the remote?
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📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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If someone ever throws something at the President of the United States during an important press conference with other world leaders, what should you scream?

DONALD DUCK!!!

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📅︎ Nov 24 2018
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Did you ever hear the joke about the broken coin press?

It didn't make any cents.

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📅︎ Oct 17 2018
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Did you hear about the man who fell into the printing press?
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📅︎ Feb 25 2016
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What happens when you press the accelerator and stop pedal at the same time in a car?

It takes a screen shot.

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📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?

The belly button

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📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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Cleaning out the french press is...

grounds for dismissal.

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👤︎ u/N-Slash
📅︎ Jan 14 2017
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What phone line does the White House send its official press releases from now?

The alternative fax.

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📅︎ Jan 23 2017
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Dug this up. Not a joke in the classical sense, but this was my dad's excuse for not watching Obama's sudden press conference a few years back. imgur.com/vXMId
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👤︎ u/zeronyx
📅︎ Nov 10 2013
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