Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?
Son: "What's it called?"
Dad: "Month."
Son: "Huh?"
Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.
It makes cents if you think about it.
Why was the Press Secretary hard to understand?
She wasn't McEnany sense.
Why did the Karen press ctrl+alt+del?
She wanted to see the task manager
Which key on the keyboard does Lewis Hamilton like to press the most ?
- F1.
I was doing the bench press at the gym the other day...
I just had to get some things off my chest.
My best friend wanted to vent to me about his inability to perform a proper bench press in the gym... I told him to get it off his chest.
I don't trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.
The press found out their is a secret vegetable garden in the White House.
The White House leaks made headlines.
If cats and dogs watch tv. Do they press paws in the remote?
If someone ever throws something at the President of the United States during an important press conference with other world leaders, what should you scream?
DONALD DUCK!!!
What happens to the car if you press the brake and the accelerator at the same time?
It takes a screenshot
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken coin press?
It didn't make any cents.
What happens when you press the accelerator and stop pedal at the same time in a car?
It takes a screen shot.
What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?
The belly button
Did you hear about the man who fell into the printing press?
He was all over the news.
sorry, people who have known other people who have been crushed in printing presses
Cleaning out the french press is...
grounds for dismissal.
What phone line does the White House send its official press releases from now?
The alternative fax.
Dug this up. Not a joke in the classical sense, but this was my dad's excuse for not watching Obama's sudden press conference a few years back. imgur.com/vXMId
