What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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The local police station has had its toilet stolen

Officers have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What do you call identical twins that join the police force?

Copies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlafThePeach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states

Gas, liquid, and solid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.

They had nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualEyez33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night

Cops have nothing to go on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...

He said the police were expecting a crime wave

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeJeepWdw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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So the police locked up a toddler the other day

Turns out he was resisting a rest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bowlingForRamen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Why did the police officer arrest a duck?

The duck was selling quack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWolfman29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Someone stole the tires off a police car

They’re working tirelessly to catch them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerryattrix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.

That would explain the doughnuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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A giant fly has attacked the local police...

Police have called SWAT team.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Police were called to the local grocery store today

A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bamugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!

Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.

He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gubaxter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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There's a giant fly attacking the police station

Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?

Urine big trouble mister!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitanPhoebs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows

I told them i was resisting a rest.

Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese_Boi20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I tried to join the psychic police force

But I failed the vision test

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."

I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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The police officer made me pay up for my crime.

Meh, that's fine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timfreemints
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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The police found the man who was stealing the soap.

They were close to catching him so he had to come clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jubulus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...

"C4 yourself".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theboredpastor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Bad one but an effort was made though,And for the fact police,I know he was 6 ft
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azreal_47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Wren kitchens have just been closed down by the police

Apparently it was a big counter fitting operation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchedarcher
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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The missus has been missing for a week now. The police have told me to prepare for the worst...

So I have been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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The police show up on a crime scene

They walk in and see a man standing over a body with a broken neck. So they take the man into questioning and ask him why he did it, the man said β€œIt was a snap decision”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bear6677
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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They couldn't DUCK the police..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Police are appealing to the man that robbed the library

To come quietly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What did the police officer tell his belly button?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiverMeeTimberz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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The police were under heavy attack of the flies

They had to call the SWAT team!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said β€œdo you have a police record, sir?” I said:

Roxanne...

Edit-spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Das_Kommandant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I don't know why the beautiful attendant at Ikea reported me to the police.

All I asked was "How much for one night stand ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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The police easily caught the thief who stole a board game.

It was a trivial pursuit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Why do the police show up early to peaceful protest?

They like to beat the crowds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigbackclock69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...

Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/displaynone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap

They charged him with resisting a rest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station

Investigators have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket

To come clean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Someone has stole all the toilet paper from the police station.

Police say at the moment we have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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