What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, it’s black and white.
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.
They had nothing to go on.
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night
Cops have nothing to go on
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
So the police locked up a toddler the other day
Turns out he was resisting a rest
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
Someone stole the tires off a police car
They’re working tirelessly to catch them
The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.
That would explain the doughnuts.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
Police were called to the local grocery store today
A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.
When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!
Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!
I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.
He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.
There's a giant fly attacking the police station
Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.
What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?
Urine big trouble mister!
The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows
I told them i was resisting a rest.
Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou
I tried to join the psychic police force
But I failed the vision test
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.
The police found the man who was stealing the soap.
They were close to catching him so he had to come clean.
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
Bad one but an effort was made though,And for the fact police,I know he was 6 ft
Wren kitchens have just been closed down by the police
Apparently it was a big counter fitting operation
The missus has been missing for a week now. The police have told me to prepare for the worst...
So I have been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!
The police show up on a crime scene
They walk in and see a man standing over a body with a broken neck. So they take the man into questioning and ask him why he did it, the man said
“It was a snap decision”
They couldn't DUCK the police..
Police are appealing to the man that robbed the library
What did the police officer tell his belly button?
The police were under heavy attack of the flies
They had to call the SWAT team!
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
I don't know why the beautiful attendant at Ikea reported me to the police.
All I asked was "How much for one night stand ?"
The police easily caught the thief who stole a board game.
It was a trivial pursuit.
Why do the police show up early to peaceful protest?
They like to beat the crowds.
Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...
Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.
The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap
They charged him with resisting a rest.
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
Someone has stole all the toilet paper from the police station.
Police say at the moment we have nothing to go on.
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