If you place all currently living people on the equator around the Earth,
at equal distance from each other,
...
most of them would get wet and some will surely drown
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Itβs crazy, all these people running these virtual races, starting all over the place.
Where do we draw the line?
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Where is the worst place to drive when your wrist hurts?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page 2 of Google search results.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
A girl took me back to her place. The curtains were drawn
but the furniture was real
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︎ Oct 12 2020
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.
Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.
Does anyone know how I can get it back?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Did you know that Apollo 11 landed in the wrong place?
The shuttle was low on fuel, so Armstrong has to take manual control of it to find them a safer place to land, landing 4 miles away from where they intended to.
The scientists behind it were very Apollo-getic.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
Where is the cheapest place to buy ham?
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Where is the worst place to hide in a game of hide and seek?
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break
I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I went to the doctor and I told him I broke my arm in two places.
He said stop going to those places
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Where's a mathematician's favorite place in the world?
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Where's the one place it's acceptable to drink and drive?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What is the angriest place on Earth?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I saw a robbery take place at the Apple Store today.
The police wanted to interview me because I was an iWitness.
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︎ Sep 19 2020
Where is the best place to go pee?
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.
This is because of a-coo-sticks.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Where's the best place to hide drugs in space?
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︎ Jul 13 2020
a llama walked up to a mirror and immediately started ejecting saliva all over the place
it was his spitting image
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Did you know the Norwegian Navy place bar codes on their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavyin.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
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︎ Sep 02 2020
A guy just went crazy at my local dumpling house and destroyed the place.
He's been charged with wonton destruction.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
The puns at this Chinese place are out of control
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︎ Apr 09 2020
What's the place people want to visit the most?
The graveyard people are just dying to go there
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Where is the best place to buy meat in India?
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Despite curfews in place around the county, cops are out all night clubbing.
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...
I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What's the best place to hide if a murderer breaks into your house?
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︎ Jun 04 2020
What was the name of the Jumanji sequel that took place on a plane?
Flewmanji.
What was the name of the Jumanji sequel that took place in Wuhan?
Flumanji.
What was the name of the Jumanji sequel that took place in a fireplace?
Fluemanji
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Where is the safest place to be in an earthquake?
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︎ Jun 16 2020
The most remote place on earth
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Police: We need to talk to your son about the fire at your neighbor's place
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︎ Jun 04 2020
What did the brewer say to the baker during shelter in place?
At yeast we have each other!
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didnβt have the foggiest idea.
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︎ May 23 2020
The worst place to buy a chess set you ask?
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︎ May 01 2020
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
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︎ Apr 22 2020
My wife got really mad at me when I told her that someone from the Jamaican Spice place was looking for her.
I said, βThe jerk store called for you.β
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Is this the right place for this?
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︎ Mar 22 2019
I worked a place with strict grooming guidelines but we are currently closed for the duration.
Due to social distancing and other issues I am not going to cut my hair or trim my beard for a time. How long? Furlough time.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts.
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︎ Apr 01 2019
The world has always been a horrible place
We just all have 20/20 vision to witness it this year.
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︎ May 28 2020
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
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︎ May 21 2020
People usually say, βletβs blow this popsicle stand,β when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, βstick up their ass.β
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︎ Mar 23 2020
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