If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything
Stamps: Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators: Hearty Starty
Bees: Fuzzy Buzzy
Pregnancy Test: Maybe Baby
Bra: Breastie Nestie
Fork: Stabby Grabby
Socks: Feetie Heatie
I just read about the last person to be executed by electric chair
Apparently he offered very little resistance and conducted himself beautifully
The person who invented the knock knock joke won a No-Bell prize.
To the person who stole my place in the queue
They say one person in each group of friends had the potential to be a serial killer...
So I pushed Dave off a cliff, just in case it was him
Person 1: The liquid in your nose is called saliva
what's the worst thing for a person with diabetes?
The first ever person who successfully operated a patient was knighted
He was called Sir Jerry from that time onwards
Did you hear about the psychic little person on the run from the law?
They say it’s a small medium at large.
The person who invented knock knock jokes has been rewarded for his achievement.
He was given a no bell prize.
The person who invented the umbrella wanted to name it 'brella"
The person who figured out how to shred cheese into small pieces
Why did the person tiptoe past the medicine?
They didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
(from my eight-year-old daughter, who made it up)
What did the person say when a flood struck his house?
To the person who stole my glasses
I will find you. I have contacts!
Every time someone imitates the knights from Monty Python, I automatically think they are a horrible person.
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
To the person who stole my antidepressants …
… I hope you’re happy now!
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me...
What do you call a person who turns into a storage facility when the moon is full?
What's the difference between a well dressed person on a unicycle and a poorly dressed person on a bicycle?
my husband told me I'm the cheapest person he knows....but
What happened to the person who washed their clothes with bills in them?
They were arrested for laundering money.
Is a person who makes latte a latter or latte maker? I would bet on the latter.
Person 1: "I know the Spanish word for cheese!"
Person 2: "...'kay, so?"
Person 1: "Yeah, that's right!"
I just met the meanest person on earth
He was just average
From my 12 year old
to the person who broke into my apartment and stole my vacuum...
I hope you come back and come clean.
True story: my girlfriend was getting upset that the person who posted a portable stove on Craigslist wasn’t responding to her.
I told her “it’s just a stove, not something to get heated over.”
What does a person with ADHD fear the most?
To the person who rode their horse screaming the “British are coming… “
I hope you become Revered.
My wife and I always fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper roll, so our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
i personally feel like the two are interchangeable
To the person who wanted me to think the alphabet ends at “T”
The person who invented Velcro died
What's the name of the most careful person in the world?
I just got an award for being the most secretive person in the office
Can’t tell you how much it means to me
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt.
My balls have never felt so free.
I was confused about what was the proper term for a very short person, dwarf? midget? small? vertically challenged? so when I saw one them I asked him, what do you like to be called?
Did you hear about the clumsy person who drops everything they pick up?
It's really getting out of hand
To the person who stole my place in the queue.
to the person who stole my spectacles....with help I will find you.
To the person who stole my antidepressants:
I hope you are happy now!
To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you.
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