If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...

Arthrites.

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📅︎ Dec 24 2020
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Facebook has over 2 billion users, That is as big as the whole of christianity, Forget that, it is bigger than hinduism and islam. Although facebook’s messenger is probably the worst.
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👤︎ u/obaidraf
📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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After I got a new leather messenger bag, my Dad asked "Do you know what the number 1 use of cow hide is?"

"Holding cows together"

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📅︎ Oct 18 2016
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Messing with the new messenger features.
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📅︎ Dec 22 2015
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My dear wife got me

She sends me the following exchange on Facebook Messenger today, while I am elbows deep into a pile of shit @ work.

Her: hey I heard darth vader's wife works in your building Her: Her name is Ella Vader Me: Go, just go.

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📅︎ Apr 21 2016
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Dadjoke'd my girlfriend just now

On facebook messenger

Her: Wow my visa is the smallest it's been in a while!

Me: Really? Those visa cards has been same size for long while.

Her: >:(

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📅︎ Mar 31 2017
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Dad-joked on Instant Messenger (at work)

My dad works in the office on the floor below me. He's been with the company for almost 18 years and is coming to grips with the instant messenger we have. This little gem popped up today;

Dad; Every time I see a castle I swear.

Me; Huh?

Dad; I must have turrets syndrome.

I close the conversation, and groan.

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📅︎ Sep 02 2014
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My boss just dad joked me...

I work as a bicycle messenger. I was sitting in our bike shop and a dude I'd met on the greenway came in for something on his bike.

My boss asked me how I met him, and I told him I was trying to get out of this guy's way, but I just decided to keep going fast, and when we stopped a few miles later I told him about our shop.

Boss says, "So, would you say you guys became fast friends?"

Hurrrrrr...

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📅︎ Apr 10 2014
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A frozen dad joke inspired by /u/Heebichibi

After resetting my step daughters tablet to defaults the Facebook messenger app kept freezing. It would eventually say wait or force close. I hit wait and it loaded. I told her..

"If it's frozen... Let it go."

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👤︎ u/mjbehrendt
📅︎ Sep 05 2014
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