The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with this.
What’s the best dinosaur to help with gifts ?
What’s the best present you can gift?
A broken drum kit.
Nobody can beat that....
A friend decided to gift me the boots I’ve been drooling over
They weren’t the color I wanted, but beggars can’t be shoes-y.
For Xmas I bought my friend a gift voucher for the opticians.
Just a little something to help her see in the New Year.
I was surprised that the only gift I got for my birthday was a bucket of Play-Doh.
I don’t know what to make of it.
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
I got fired from the shoe factory, but they were nice enough to leave me with a parting gift.
Don't worry about catching COVID from the gifts that Santa delivers
They will all be Santatized
What's the best housewarming gift?
Why didn’t the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
Last year we did a Secret Santa where everyone had to give each other furnace parts. I'm so ticked for the stupid gift I got.
Sorry. I just gotta vent.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
My English grammar teacher was having some marriage problems and it was really getting to him, so the whole class joined in to buy him a gift
After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense
Space heaters are the best house-warming gifts.
Did you see the final episode of that new Netflix series about the dude who couldn't stop buying himself gifts!?
Do you want to know what one of the coolest gifts you could ever get someone is?
What did the bald man say when he received a comb as a gift?
"Thanks! I'll never part with this!"
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
Posted this in r/ShowerThoughts but it got taken down, despite the fact that it's 100% truth.
I never truly saw myself as a father, until my wife gave my the greatest gift of all...
You may think the best gifts are given on Mother's Day, but Father's Day is usually a tie.
The wife hated that her birthday gift was a fire pit.
But she slowly started warming up to it.
What's the sickest housewarming gift?
Ebola fruit.
say this one out loud if your stuck.
Walking through the mall with my 9 yr old and a kiosk saleswoman waves a sample of lotion and asks 'A gift for your daughter?'
I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'
She thought that was pretty funny.
My wife always complains about the gifts I buy for her. This time I got her a Tourette’s alarm clock.
She is in for a rude awakening.
Son, it is time you hear the truth. Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny are not real. Mum and I bring you the gifts.
Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.
My Jewish friend got his son the best 13th birthday gift.
So his son plays baseball and his mitt was in rough condition. They make these little boxes for baseball mitts that put out heat, humidity, and massage the mitt slightly to keep it in good condition. They're pretty small and can fit on a kitchen counter top. It's best to keep them near the sink to refill the water reservoir when it gets low. It's helpful if it's like right above the sink. My friend had put his on the bar behind the sink.
It was seriously the nicest bar mitt spa I had ever seen!
What do you call the punchline to a joke about zombies having a gift exchange?
The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.
This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.
Photos here:
https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3
Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow and she’s wanted to get a new cat (recently lost our old one), so my son and I got a cat from the animal shelter, put her gently into a large gift bag and brought her home. Before I could shut my driver door my son ran inside and ruined the surprise...
Can’t believe he let the cat out of the bag.
The older you get the more practical your Christmas gifts get. This year my wife and I got a vacuum.
I have the gift for the gab, but I need to work on wrapping it up
My wife turned to me and said, all life is like hope. It's precious, a gift. It flourishes in the desert, in the snow, even in the Marianas Trench, 10,000 meters below the waves. Life and hope exist where we least expect it, yet it is so fragile it can be destroyed in a moment.
People with birthdays falling on Christmas shouldn't mind that gifts are combined for the holiday...
What's the best birthday gift?
A broken drum it's unbeatable
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m finding it hard to deal with this.
What it the best Christmas gift?
A broken drum.. you can never beat it
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find it extremely difficult to deal with.
What is the best gift you can give someone? Answer: a broken drum...
The only gift I got for my birthday is a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
The only birthday gift I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
Why is a comb the best gift for a bald person?
It's a gift they can never part with.
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gift
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