Some guys are talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one of the friends say "I sit down when I pee"
Another friend proceeds to curse and weep at the first friend yelling "I though you were a stand-up guy!"
π︎ 36
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
why did the business man make a call to Pennsylvania?
they were business a-phili-ates
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
Whatβs the difference between someone going to prison and a guy who has a mobile knife sharpening business?
One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated
π︎ 30
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
William Shatner, Star Trekβs Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched womenβs underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying βShatner Pantiesβ.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Why did the balloon factory go out of business?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
Why did the spider just mind it's own business making a web?
To make sure I wasn't being bugged
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
What do you call the money your garbage business earns?
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
βExcuse me,β I said, βI couldnβt help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?β
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, βItβs Wales!β
βNo offense intended,β I replied. βPlease allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Why did the angry doctor go out of business?
Because he was losing his patience.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
Why did the cow and the horse start a business together?
They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Why was the horses business doing so well?
βBecause it has a stabled economy.β
My 10yo daughter just came up to me with this after sitting there stewing about my previous joke.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Why did the spice shop go out of business?
They just couldnβt keep up with the thymes.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...
Now his sails are through the roof.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Production costs are really high in the dairy business
A lot of expenses are in curd.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
The business man opened a shadow puppet theater that should make a fortune!
But thatβs just projected figures.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
My business is on the verge of bankcruptcy even though I am doing everything right.
It doesn't make any cents.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
A consultant came in to analyse my business the other day...
He said "sweeping changes had to be made".
The Janitor is not happy
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
Started a business building Yachts at home during the Lockdown..
..and the Sails have gone through the roof.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
Did you hear about the teacher who ran a landscaping business during breaks?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
Why was the pot-head chiropractor getting so much business?
Everybody needed help rolling their joints
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business
It was called Bruce Banisters
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
Making money in the dog exercising business
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesnβt glow on tees.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
There were three guys named Jackson who were all in the clothing business.
Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.
The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"
Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)
The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.
"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).β
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 21 2020
Did you hear about the retired Sheriff who started a landscaping business?
π︎ 47
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
Orchards around the world are going out of business en masse...
All their hard work really is just one big, fruitless endeavor.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 06 2020
You're the worst conductor in the railroad business. How many trains did you derail last year?
I don't know boss, it's so hard to keep track.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 10 2020
Tesla is really stinking up the business news section..
It's all because of the Musk.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 02 2020
Steve Tyler has quit the music business and become a professional fletcher...
His shop is called Arrowsmith.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Who is the best at minding their own business?
π︎ 109
π
︎ Nov 30 2019
Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
Iβve got a mate writing a tell all book about life in the snow plough business.
He says it will be a very gritty read.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
I started a business fixing vehicles to have the wheel only turning one direction.
Business is going alright
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 01 2020
Did you hear about the business selling land mines disguised as prayer mats?
The prophets are through the roof!
π︎ 39
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
I'm considering getting into the steel and mining business
.. just need to iron out the details.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 18 2020
What does the sign say outside of an out of business brothel?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Did you hear about the failed bra business?
There was a lack of good customer support
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
Did you know that when the first dynamite factory opened it experienced booming business?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
Did you hear about the quarry that went out of business?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 11 2019
Why did the mafia go into the pizza business
They wanted to make some dough
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
I wanted to say something funny about the cocaine business...
But I didn't want to crack a joke
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 07 2019
Why did the cow and the horse start a business together?
They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.