Some guys are talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one of the friends say "I sit down when I pee"
Another friend proceeds to curse and weep at the first friend yelling "I though you were a stand-up guy!"
why did the business man make a call to Pennsylvania?
they were business a-phili-ates
What’s the difference between someone going to prison and a guy who has a mobile knife sharpening business?
One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
Why did the balloon factory go out of business?
Why did the spider just mind it's own business making a web?
To make sure I wasn't being bugged
What do you call the money your garbage business earns?
I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.
Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?
Why did the angry doctor go out of business?
Because he was losing his patience.
Why did the cow and the horse start a business together?
They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.
Why was the horses business doing so well?
“Because it has a stabled economy.”
My 10yo daughter just came up to me with this after sitting there stewing about my previous joke.
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
Why did the spice shop go out of business?
They just couldn’t keep up with the thymes.
I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...
Now his sails are through the roof.
Production costs are really high in the dairy business
A lot of expenses are in curd.
The business man opened a shadow puppet theater that should make a fortune!
But that’s just projected figures.
My business is on the verge of bankcruptcy even though I am doing everything right.
It doesn't make any cents.
A consultant came in to analyse my business the other day...
He said "sweeping changes had to be made".
The Janitor is not happy
Started a business building Yachts at home during the Lockdown..
..and the Sails have gone through the roof.
Did you hear about the teacher who ran a landscaping business during breaks?
Why was the pot-head chiropractor getting so much business?
Everybody needed help rolling their joints
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business
It was called Bruce Banisters
Making money in the dog exercising business
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
There were three guys named Jackson who were all in the clothing business.
Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.
The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"
Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)
The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.
"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).”
Did you hear about the retired Sheriff who started a landscaping business?
Orchards around the world are going out of business en masse...
All their hard work really is just one big, fruitless endeavor.
You're the worst conductor in the railroad business. How many trains did you derail last year?
I don't know boss, it's so hard to keep track.
Tesla is really stinking up the business news section..
It's all because of the Musk.
Steve Tyler has quit the music business and become a professional fletcher...
His shop is called Arrowsmith.
Who is the best at minding their own business?
Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?
I started a business fixing vehicles to have the wheel only turning one direction.
Business is going alright
I’ve got a mate writing a tell all book about life in the snow plough business.
He says it will be a very gritty read.
Did you hear about the business selling land mines disguised as prayer mats?
The prophets are through the roof!
I'm considering getting into the steel and mining business
.. just need to iron out the details.
What does the sign say outside of an out of business brothel?
Did you hear about the failed bra business?
There was a lack of good customer support
Did you know that when the first dynamite factory opened it experienced booming business?
Did you hear about the quarry that went out of business?
Why did the mafia go into the pizza business
They wanted to make some dough
I wanted to say something funny about the cocaine business...
But I didn't want to crack a joke
Why did the cow and the horse start a business together?
They figured they could make a lot of Moo Neigh.
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