I made a pun-based business, mailing real life puns to UK residents reddit.com/gallery/kzek6g
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postpuns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"

I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"

πŸ‘︎ 383
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I'm trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.

Just need help getting it off the ground.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.

After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.

He'd been despatched.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmoBM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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I was getting close to retiring and offered my compost business to my son.

He replied, β€œI refuse to work with compost! It’s so degrading!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoccerRN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I am finally ready to accept applications for my deer cloning business...

It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I'm starting up a festive business where I attach Christmas bells to men's neckwear..

Good Tie-dings to all men!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?

Chris Cross Applesauce

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long day I want to take a dump as soon as I get home, but it's not my first order of business.

That's #2 on my list.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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A friend of mine is starting a new business... he thinks there's going to be a huge demand for cannabis-fed cattle.

I thought about investing, but the steaks are too high.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...

Now his sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DNDLoser07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I built a business where all proceeds went to Charity.

But I ended up in jail because apparently not telling them my daughter’s name is Charity was a big no no.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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A consultant came in to analyse my business the other day...

He said "sweeping changes had to be made".

The Janitor is not happy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArseRobot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I once tried to start my own table sauce business

But I found I was always playing ketchup

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I called my friend to tell him about my big promotion and how it comes with a lot of new responsibilities now that I'm running the business. He asked what my new job was and how I was holding up.

I told him "I'm generally managing"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.

He makes some very good points.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid was trying to start a landscaping business

He just needed some seed funding

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dashover
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExistentialYurt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I went to my optometry clinic and said "I'm surprised this place isn't out of business yet......

because it's 20/20."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.

They just suspended animation.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I’m going to open a math tutoring business.

I’ll name it Limited Addition.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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My friend started a business exporting artificial limbs to hospitals in foreign countries.

He’s an International Arms Dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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A Friend and I Decided to open a Chinese Cookie Business

We're going to make fortunes

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pidyon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?

He made lots of moola.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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I started a business fixing vehicles to have the wheel only turning one direction.

Business is going alright

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlotte_8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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I promised my wife I would look after her 6 cats while she went to a business conference...

I pre-tended.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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If I ever own a business, I'm going to install a revolving door that looks like a glass container...

...that way, the door is always ajar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSchneebSx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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My ex- rapper friend decided to stop his gardening business because he was really careless with his tools.

He has hoes in different area codes.

πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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What do you call a chef who's looking to start their own business?

An entree-preneur

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBossMan007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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To save his business, my butcher is trying an experimental process where he gives his cows magic mushrooms before slaughtering them.

Let's just say...the steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benchwrmr22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to say something funny about the cocaine business...

But I didn't want to crack a joke

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slyth3r1n
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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I asked a friend if I should go into business selling curvy tracks for people to ride their toboggans down for jollies...

He said it sounds like a luging proposition.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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A business doomed to sink
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevsterbooy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.

The poor man dyed a loan.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend and I went into business selling chess sets. During Christmas, we have to both work and ring people up at the register...

She's my check mate.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.

"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My door to door fruit delivery business failed terribly because of my horrible interpersonal skills.

I was driving people bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to pack my stuff in a suitcase for business trip. But she packed in my backpack instead

She said it's the same and easier. Well yes but that's not the case

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabyte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.

Another season, another bad crop.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I am finally ready to open my deer cloning business...

It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend tried to convince me to invest in his sword making business.

He made some excellent points.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.

He makes some really good points.

πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.

He makes some very good points.

πŸ‘︎ 319
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business .

He makes some excellent points.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword business I don’t want too..

But, he makes some really good points

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuIius_Seizure95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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