When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
I'm trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.
Just need help getting it off the ground.
I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
I was getting close to retiring and offered my compost business to my son.
He replied, “I refuse to work with compost! It’s so degrading!”
I am finally ready to accept applications for my deer cloning business...
It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.
I'm starting up a festive business where I attach Christmas bells to men's neckwear..
Good Tie-dings to all men!
Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?
After a long day I want to take a dump as soon as I get home, but it's not my first order of business.
A friend of mine is starting a new business... he thinks there's going to be a huge demand for cannabis-fed cattle.
I thought about investing, but the steaks are too high.
I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...
Now his sails are through the roof.
I built a business where all proceeds went to Charity.
But I ended up in jail because apparently not telling them my daughter’s name is Charity was a big no no.
A consultant came in to analyse my business the other day...
He said "sweeping changes had to be made".
The Janitor is not happy
I once tried to start my own table sauce business
But I found I was always playing ketchup
I called my friend to tell him about my big promotion and how it comes with a lot of new responsibilities now that I'm running the business. He asked what my new job was and how I was holding up.
I told him "I'm generally managing"
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He makes some very good points.
My kid was trying to start a landscaping business
He just needed some seed funding
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.
I went to my optometry clinic and said "I'm surprised this place isn't out of business yet......
Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.
They just suspended animation.
I’m going to open a math tutoring business.
I’ll name it Limited Addition.
My friend started a business exporting artificial limbs to hospitals in foreign countries.
He’s an International Arms Dealer.
A Friend and I Decided to open a Chinese Cookie Business
We're going to make fortunes
Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?
I started a business fixing vehicles to have the wheel only turning one direction.
Business is going alright
I promised my wife I would look after her 6 cats while she went to a business conference...
If I ever own a business, I'm going to install a revolving door that looks like a glass container...
...that way, the door is always ajar.
My ex- rapper friend decided to stop his gardening business because he was really careless with his tools.
He has hoes in different area codes.
What do you call a chef who's looking to start their own business?
To save his business, my butcher is trying an experimental process where he gives his cows magic mushrooms before slaughtering them.
Let's just say...the steaks are high.
I wanted to say something funny about the cocaine business...
But I didn't want to crack a joke
I asked a friend if I should go into business selling curvy tracks for people to ride their toboggans down for jollies...
He said it sounds like a luging proposition.
A business doomed to sink
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
A friend and I went into business selling chess sets. During Christmas, we have to both work and ring people up at the register...
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
My door to door fruit delivery business failed terribly because of my horrible interpersonal skills.
I was driving people bananas.
My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
I asked my wife to pack my stuff in a suitcase for business trip. But she packed in my backpack instead
She said it's the same and easier. Well yes but that's not the case
My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.
Another season, another bad crop.
I am finally ready to open my deer cloning business...
It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.
My friend tried to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He made some excellent points.
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He makes some really good points.
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
He makes some very good points.
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business .
He makes some excellent points.
My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword business I don’t want too..
But, he makes some really good points
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
