Tactful Puns

I don’t want to offend her or make her upset, please help me.

Edit: holy shit my first award? Thank you (?)

I should clarify, she usually takes care of it but it’s been a while since she’s shaved and want to know the best way to bring it up. Thank y’all for your responses thus far

Edit 2: I just sent it and she pulled the tweezers out and got them taken care of. Thank you lovely people!

Edit 3: Christ, 2 silvers too? Holy shit I don’t think this would blow up.

See title for question. I'm trying to decide between having it on the picture-frame-turned-chalkboard welcome sign out front or printing a small blurb at the bottom of the paper programs that will be passed out to every guest (so no one will be able to say they somehow didnt see the big sign out front).

I'm not a huge fan of the cute rhymes i keep seeing online ("thank you for coming to share our day but please put your cameras and cellphones away ♡♡") but i dont want to sound super clinical, which is a tendency of mine...

If the program text blurb, how does this sound?

"Please be respectful and silence all devices and refrain from taking personal photos with phones or tablets until after the ceremony is complete."

If a disclaimer on the blackboard sign, a similar but abbreviated text:

"Please silence phones and other devices and refrain from taking personal photos until after the ceremony is complete"

Would appreciate any advice or suggestions on this. Thank you!

Edit: you all have been so helpful, I'm going to have the officiant make an announcement and have a shortened blurb on the bottom of the programs. Thanks to everyone for your input!

Long story short: Had to go through fertility treatments and loss for our first. It killed me emotionally and mentally and it took YEARS to get over the trauma. During the treatments, pregnancy announcements would send me to a deep, dark place. I would come to the light and be happy for the person eventually, but initial reaction would just be despair. Fast forward, pregnant with our second, no treatments, incredibly excited, shocked...ALL of the emotions. Didn't think my body "worked" like it is "supposed" to. Anyways, I cannot physically hide my bump anymore. We want to share our news with family and friends, but we also want to be sensitive and thoughtful of the family and friends who are struggling with fertility and loss (whether we know or not). I do not want to mention "after every storm comes a rainbow" because that is not the reality for a lot of people. Any suggestions?

Apologies for the awkward title, but here is the gist.

I have just found out that my sister has made the very difficult choice to terminate her first, very-wanted pregnancy at 15 weeks due to the foetus having a condition that would make it unviable at birth. Since it was so early in her pregnancy, I basically found out she was pregnant and terminating at the same time. Only her fiance, my parents and my brother know about this because she had not announced her pregnancy publicly yet.

I don't live in the same city as her and while the whole family will be getting together over Christmas, I want to send her... something in the meantime to say I'm thinking of her/help her get through this. But I'm very awkward in these situations and don't really know what. I guess my question is... if you were in a situation like this (and my deepest condolences if you have been 😔) what would you have appreciated in the tough weeks that followed? A card and flowers seems generic... but like, a spa day/something in the world of self-care? Some sort of care package? Or is that too much...

Thanks for any help to this caring but kind of socially inept older sister.

TLDR: Is it okay to ask a family photographer (that you have a long working relationship with) to turn down their editing a notch?

My husband and I have had three family photoshoots with the same photographer over the past few years. She is objectively very talented, and clearly I like her or we would have stopped working with her long ago.

The problem is that I feel like her editing has just gotten a little too “heavy handed” for me. The quality is still amazing, but the edits she does in post are pushing what I like in photography (at least for a family shoot). I’m not a photographer, so I don’t have the right vocab to describe exactly what I mean, but essentially it looks like she applied an very very expensive Instagram filter to each photo, and set it too strong. (I am sure she made this preset herself after hours and hours of tweaking, I am not implying that she actually just slaps a filter from the internet on her images and calls it a day.) And I know she’s obviously going to do some amount of editing in post- that’s part of the deal and I want it. I just wish it was a lighter touch.

Anyways, last year’s photos were edited this way, and I just didn’t love them as much (so were the ones from the year before, but not to the same degree). It looks less natural and more photoshopped. We’ve had a crazy summer, so I didn’t look for a new photographer and we booked her again. I just saw a recent shoot she did, and it’s the same look as ours from last year. My plan was if this year’s pictures came out the same to just switch photographers for next time. But then I thought “maybe it’s better (even though it will be awkward) to just talk to her.”

However, she is an artist. I have serious concerns about telling an artist how to do their work. It implies I know more than her, which I don’t. Additionally, I imagine it will be more work for her. Like I mentioned, I assume she made a custom preset, which streamlines her editing process. By asking for a different look she will have to make an entirely new preset.

Additionally, since I’m not a photographer I can’t explicitly say what I want to be different. I can’t say “you punched up the yellows too much and turned down the saturation, and did ___ to the curve.” So how on Earth do I give her constructive feedback? The best I can think of is showing her photos (ideally her own work) that I like.

The only reason I’m considering talking to her is that she is also a professional and we have a long working r

Hello all, I am 3 years into my current job (first job) and I think I have issues with being tactful with words at work ie workplace communications issues. Maybe I have an overly sanguine view of workplaces in general and I sometimes cross-boundaries when I say things to my bosses as though they are my friends. But I don’t wish to hold back things from them and want to be genuine/honest but that sometimes backfires and I appear to be tactless/ignorant.

I am also not sure what to think of applying cost-benefit analysis when it comes to helping people/sharing ideas. It is hard to accept that workplaces can be rather cut-throat.

I know I sound rather idealistic about things. But workplaces are not churches after all. Yet how do I be genuine yet tactful, and be helpful/loving to my colleagues yet not get trampled upon.

Please feel free to share your comms experience at work. Also, feel free to share any role-model you have at work.

Also, I don’t mind book recommendations on workplace comms :)

Cheers!

I play rec softball on Sundays. And there is a girl on my team with a big ass. No , a huge YUGE ass.

On my bank login web page. There is a splash image on that page of our city. And there are two women walking on a path with our city's downtown area in the background.

The photo is from the back I can't see the face, but based on the hair and that huge badonk. I think it might be my softball teammate.

I haven't asked, and probably won't ask. Might just have to go down as one of lifes unsolved mysteries.

I don't see any way to do this without saying, yeah i thought that was you cause of that big fat dumptruck.

My cousin is a professional photographer and does great portrait work. Most of my extended family is scattered around the US, so we’re not super close, but we’re all friendly when we see each other for holidays ~1x/year. I’d like to ask if she’d be willing to do a short session with me and my fiancé, but I want to make it clear to her that I want to support her small business and in no way feel entitled to a discount just because “ wE’rE FaMiLy”.

Is there a not-awkward way to say this? Or do I just not bring it up and treat it like I’m inquiring about pricing for an engagement session as if she were any other photographer? This feels like a silly thing to need advice on, but I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel any unnecessary obligation!

Edit: thank you everyone for the great ideas! I was definitely overthinking it. I sent the email earlier this morning with a version of what /u/butilovethattree suggested. I'm excited to get something scheduled and finally have some professional photos of me and the fiancé .

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/oga2ry/tactful_way_to_kick_someone_out_of_a_group/

I had a talk with the guy in question shortly after posting that and absorbing the comments.

I basically laid out a few points that were requirements for him going forward:

• I said he needs to play his alignment without impeding on the groups' ability to play their own alignment which would have meant that he could be "good", but less trying to dictate what everyone else does (he would commonly shame "evil" decisions, and patronize players for making them). I also mentioned on this point that the campaign is evil, and the setting is evil (the geography, etc). There are dark forces at play, and the island they are currently on would have very few "lawful good" NPCs. So playing "good" would be hard-mode, and likely very punishing with me as the DM here.
• I said the other option is that he plays evil. I explained to him that giving NPCs money, and allowing rogueish villains to live is going to be punishing in my campaign.
• I explained that he needs to 100% stop patronizing others' choices, and play in the moment. Also no more "feeling out every option" in combat, asking me "Can I ___?" , "Oh, then can I _____?" while
  looking for the optimal path. This was the biggest complaint from other members. They felt that any time they suggested something he'd talk over them, or shoot down their ideas, and a fear of communicating surfaced as most of the group are introverted individuals who aren't good with those kinds of conflicts.
• I explained that while I understand he wanted his own character arc, and I threw a small bone his way (gave him some NPCs that would interact with him based on his character's background) that the main story was not related to that, and that the rest of the group is not very interested in pursuing his personal character arc.
• I explained that my vote is the only vote that matters in how the story flows, how a roll is perceived, and what is allowed and isn't allowed. No more arguing with me every time he disagrees on how much damage he should have done, or if he was allowed to do something. I also said that

In a nutshell he did not take this well.

• He went on a tangent about how he's played longer than I've been alive (maybe true, but his main groups were 2e, and this was his first 5e game ever).

This is going to be long, please bear with me. Throw away since I can be identified on main.

I work at a hospital in a non-clinical role and I got involved with a new resident on a different unit. Things were great and fun until I realized he had lied about a lot of things, the biggest of which is that he had a girlfriend that he purchased a house with who also happens to be a resident on yet another unit.

I called him out on it, and he gave what I thought at the time was a sincere apology. I wished him the best and thought that was the end of it. This happened mid November.

Cut to January, and he’s hitting me up again, and I go for it. I couldn’t comprehend how someone as attractive as he is could be interested in someone like me. This does not justify my actions, and I know full well continuing to hook up with him is wrong.

But we continue, on and off, often not talking for months at a time until he would reappear. I tried to end it sometime in February, but every time I think it’s done and I’m getting over him, he pops back up. The last time I saw him was the Sunday of thanksgiving week.

Now, not even a week after the last time so saw him I found out he had proposed to his girlfriend towards the beginning of the month, and I absolutely had to draw my line there. This whole thing has been unfair to her, especially since I was not the only one he’s been hooking up with (before I found of about the girlfriend we had a threesome, and he hooked up with the other girl one on one and was very very into her, she and I became close and she told me everything he said as he continued to hook up with her. He told her there were 4 people - I assumed this to mean me, her, girlfriend, and someone else. He also told her that we were a distraction from his ‘on and off again’ girlfriend, and that he didn’t see the relationship lasting long).

For the longest time, I told myself I didn’t care about the girlfriend. It wasn’t my relationship, and the only reason I’d tell her is to hurt him.

Now that they’re engaged, I’m starting to really question if I should tell her and how. It’s like he’s living two different lives and didn’t count on meeting someone as nosy as I am. They seem so happy. He proposed in an extravagant way. But she deserves someone who isn’t stepping out on her.

My problem is that I feel like if I tell her, her whole life implodes. As does his. I don’t want to do that, and I don’t want it to affect their education in any way. Residency is a real

I feel like no mater how hard I try to choose my words carefully and be tactful in my approach, I always end up saying the wrong thing or putting my foot in my mouth.

I’ll think I’m conveying my feelings in a totally logical and understandable way, and then people look at me like I’m a huge asshole and I realize whatever I said was wrong. But then people don’t want to hear me explain/elaborate or explain what about what I said was so wrong. It’s like I’m always being suddenly written off as the bad guy. I try not to feel the need to always explain myself, but it’s hard. I’m constantly invalidated in how I’m feeling or the boundaries I set because I can’t figure out to deliver it in a way that people actually accurately receive.

So this is not the job I want. I need a job but there are some boundaries I will not cross just to have one. If I get it I can work there part time to save my sanity and get some income in.

My friend used to work with this population and she told me horror stories.

There are questions I want to ask but I want to know how to be more tactful or even if I should.

-why did the last person(s) leave? -have the children gotten violent with anyone? -what is the protocol if they do? -are we trained in restraints or techniques to block if a child does become violent? -Has anyone had to deal with bodily fluids like poop or pee?

Any help with this will be appreciated.

Hi! My father has three properties that have all three of their garages stuffed to them brim plus two storage facilities. A lot of the stuff used to actually be valuable but now most of what he acquires is junk. He also has a gf that he mentioned is bankrupting him. He owes back taxes on all three properties and is looking to get a mortgage on one of the two houses that are paid off.

Is there a tactful way to tell him “no”? I’ve danced around the subject of hoarding for years but he shuts down and gets extremely hostile.

And no, I didn't have anything even moderately approaching any form of IP infringement in my shop, never had a complaint, no case opened, didn't use a VPN.

Diplomacy & respect are vital in leadership. Could you please give me some examples of phrases or words that are good for encouraging people to do things without sounding domineering

I just did a 4th step in a secret society (hehe) and through that I had to make a relationship ideals list of my wants and needs in a potential partner. I got super detailed in it and it was super cool to see what I actually want in a partner. My question is- when getting to know people, how do I weed out what I don’t want early enough as to not waste their time but like not to freak them out and come across as insane (even though I def am). Thanks for your thoughtful responses🥰

“Be an example to your men, in your duty and in private life. Never spare yourself, and let the troops see that you don't in your endurance of fatigue and privation. Always be tactful and well-mannered and teach your subordinates to do the same. Avoid excessive sharpness or harshness of voice, which usually indicates the man who has shortcomings of his own to hide.”

Erwin Rommel ( I committed a mistake in title )

It was hard but I got the job then decided to rescind my acceptance. I need a job but the thought of doing this one gave me tons of anxiety and made me feel sick. I haven't told my mom yet and I know she's going to be pissed but I made this decision for myself and I'll do what she asks as long as I don't have to do that job. I hate that I had that much of an issue with it.

1st time on the co-op search, wanted to hear how people have handled respectfully turning down offers in the past while still keeping the door open to work with the companies in the future.

I am rolling with my first group as a DM. It's an evil group and I put a lot of effort into the story. I've been writing it out for the better part of a year. I finally found a friend group who can commit weekly to playing. It consists of my brother, a couple of close friends, and my brother's father in law, as well as my brother's best friend.

The situation is tricky, because my brother's father in law is causing some group friction. He's not an asshole, or at least he teeters the line really close, and he's not harassing anyone or anything major like that. He is the groups' rogue. He's played DND for 20+ years and has, according to my brother, only ever rolled rogues. Always the same rogue, too.

Series of events that are leading me to think he may not be a good fit:

• He seems to be set on playing a "good" character even though we're an evil group. He argues with evil decisions constantly, and I punish the group for that because the setting is full of rogues, thieves, and ruffians. He constantly discourages them from harming NPCs, and has even offered groups' resources to NPCs that later end up robbing them
• Seems to think he's the protagonist. Before we even had our first session, during the character creation phase, he PMed me that he wanted his own story arc which I thought was odd. I threw him a bone or two, but he's hell-bent on pushing the group to follow his specific story. He has no issues going on a 30 minute long solo adventure, but if another player wants to walk outside of the tavern and smoke, or something, he immediately jumps on them and says how the party shouldn't split up.
• He argues with me in battle a lot. Not "asshole" arguing. More like he has been playing DND for a long time, incorrectly (with how he utilizes his skills and calculates damage. For example he was trying to claim doing over 90 damage as a level 2 rogue).
• His arguments in battle have caused his turns to take up to 25 minutes whereas everyone else takes between 10 seconds, and 2 minutes. He will turn a battle I was expecting to take 15 minutes into an hour long endeavor and the whole night becomes a wash. This is actually the main point the group complained to me (all individually) about, that needs to be fixed, or they quit.
• Outside of battles he is just kind of an attention whore. He goes on long tirades often. They bore the rest of the group to the point that I'm really the only person who knows what's going on with his character because they tend to ste

Poor service at a restaurant, mixed up orders, mistakes happen. You yelling at someone who messed up, or even worse, someone who had nothing to do with the mess up, only makes you look like an asshole. Many many times these situations can be solved with simple honest communication.

My MNM is having some issues with boundaries with my LO and I’d love some advice.

My mom has some narcissistic tendencies, but truly adores me and my LO. She has serious issues with boundaries though, plays dumb about rules and generally seems to be having a hard time understanding her role and place with LO.

We have had two instances this week where she has tried to do something with my LO, I have asked her to stop, and she has continued to do the action while ignoring my repeated demands to stop until I made it stop. One of these instances had to do with Covid safety and the other had to do with inciting a tantrum as we were about to leave. I know she never has bad intentions when these things happen, it’s clear she just gets something into her head she wants to do and doesn’t want to have to listen to me tell her no.

After the first instance around Covid safety, she brought it up to me after the fact and apologized saying she “didn’t understand the rules”. It’s common for her to do this and spin the incident in a pretty transparent way. I responded calmly, saying “well, you wouldn’t let me speak. If you had let me speak I could have explained to you.” I can already tell after the incident today I’m going to get another “spin story” after the fact because it’s clearly getting under her skin every time I tell her to stop doing something.

My husband says I tend to talk to her condescendingly when we disagree, so does anyone have some suggestions how to calmly and nicely explain to her that while I understand it must feel odd to have your child telling you what to do sometimes, it’s my job as LOs mother and she needs to respect that?

You can automatically speak any languages although you can't understand them if you don't speak them.

She and Jawaharlal are so sweet together… Pammy and I are doing everything we can to be tactful and help….’ So there existed a happy three-some based on firm understanding on all sides.... Though it may not be polite to write about the personal affairs of a Public figure, I am compelled to write on Nehru as he more or less ran India as his fiefdom and his heirs till about Seven years ago were, though elected democratically, were ruling, I repeat Ruling India. He was / is being described as to give the impression that he alone,along with Gandhi was responsible for India attaining independence.He is touted as a great literatuer, a visionary and a man who projected India as a modern power to the world. https://ramanisblog.in/2021/11/18/edwina-nehru-love-special-sweet-will-be-tactful-help-mountbatten/

2 examples from this week:

The meetings should be in Spanish, too. I'm calling the news station!

You should be texting me about meetings. Why don't you do this for everyone?

What unreasonable demands have y'all heard?