Because it’s would be called Aldi’s Nuts
Psshtachios.
A nut-allergic.
They're just misunderstood.
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
The psychiatrist says,"I can clearly see your nuts."
If we don’t get support, they’ll think we’re nuts
A pee-nut.
To keep their nuts dry.
Because they have a nut allergy (this is entirely a joke).
Because when he's done, he nuts and bolts.
They're nuts!
He nuts and bolts!
Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.
It’s nut milk.
One day a nurse asked her why she didn't ask for grapes instead of nuts.She replied that you can't get grapes with chocolate coating!
Nuts or no nuts?
Tanks fo' nut'in
The bartender asks,"Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate responds,"Arghhh, it's driving me nuts."
If it ain't bananas, it's nuts.
I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.
Isn't that nuts?
It depends on which direction the wind is blowing.
Beer nuts are $1.50 but deer nuts are under a buck
“We gotta start getting some support around here or people are gonna think we’re nuts”
Because some trees are nuts.
He was a bit of a wall nut.
Clearly I can see your nuts
All they do is nut and bolt
To protect their nuts.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
Yea, it was pretty nuts.
"That's nuts." I replied.
I gave them away...I hate religious nuts.
You act like a nut
...he tells the owner and bartender that he’s a surgeon down at the hospital and he just wants to forget about everything for awhile.
Dick knows just the thing. He quickly whips up a thick, exotic beverage and places it in front of the worn out doctor. He takes one sip and his eyes light up. “What IS that?” “That’s my signature almond daiquiri”, Dick tells him. The surgeon tells him it’s delicious, pays his bill and comes back the next day and the next day at the same time for the same thing: An almond daiquiri.
Before long, like clockwork, Dick is able to have it ready for him just before he comes in. But, one day as he is preparing the drink, he realizes that he’s run out of almonds! With no time to lose, he quickly substitutes the almonds with hickory nuts and sets the beverage on the bar.
The surgeon pops in, takes a big gulp, and immediately spits it all over the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, “That’s not an almond daiquiri, Dick!” And Dick says, “No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
When the dr touches your nuts it’s strictly business.
Doe-nuts.
How much does each one cost the deer?
One buck.
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
... when one accidentally fell out of my mouth and into the nut bowl. My girlfriend then asked: "So if I find a wet nut in there, I'm just supposed to act ca-shew?"
Yeah, I'm definitely putting a ring on her.
He yells, hey! Hey, pirate! There's a steering wheel in your pants! Pirate says, Aarr, I know! It's driving me nuts!
The doctor says I can clearly see your nuts
He nuts and bolts
He nuts and bolts.
To keep their nuts dry
