T Minus Puns

It’s going to be minus 45.

Because it was minus 45.

It’s minus 45!

Minus 45.

In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.

-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.

(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)

Call it Tea Minus 10

Math major: minus 1 duh

English major: Nah, just add ‘g’ in the beginning and it’s gone!

It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home

I sea food, and I eat it.

I was nonplussed at the ability of the student to add manually minus the aid of an adding machine!

You minus well

Add a minus sign.

Thats minus 4 points for his show jumping score

Driving my daughter to school this morning, we passed a company with a big sign that said Plus Consulting. I said, "I wonder why they don't consult on minuses." My daughter said, "because they're too negative." Hearty dad laughing commenced and she beamed with pride.

A few weeks ago, our band teacher ordered a string bass for the band. It came in today, and he asked me to help put it together. He picked up a wrapped package from the box and I asked "is that the bridge?" And he said yes. "That's a pretty small bridge, how are you going to drove cars over it?" Cue groans from the whole class, minus a volcano of laughter from the teacher.

Sitting at Breakfast today, the question came up: "what happens to bees in the winter, and how do they come back so fast in the summer?"

Skipping all the answers and cutting to the chase, I answer: "The bees die and come back as ZomBees". Lot's of groaning and laughing followed from everybody minus the gf.

I'm now single.

Subject: Finally

"Starting to get a bit warmer in (Hometown.) All of January, it has been snow, wind, below zero temperatures, wind chills of minus 40. (His Wife) does nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. Couple of times the weather was so bad I had to let her in."

http://i.imgur.com/fDEnAdM.png

Boyfriend: Antarctic stations are pretty much the closest thing you can get to being in a space station. But minus the whole gravity thing.

Me: Don't you mean ADD the gravity, because it's on Earth, not space?!

Boyfriend rolls eyes

Me: "Hey Dad, can I ask you a question?"

Dad: "You just did."

Me: [groaning] "Fine, can I ask you two questions??"

Dad: You just did

http://i.minus.com/ibqeGorjYyxqjz.gif

He said it has its pluses and minuses.

I heard it’s going to be minus 45