Student's T Test Puns

Superintendent really wanted the students to get a Positive result in their upcoming tests.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

I gave my students a periodic table test out of the blue.

They all got poor marks. I was so disappointed.

I thought we'd mastered the element of surprise.

Student: How big is the test?

Me: eight and a half by eleven

Once, there was a young woman who wanted to do a little psychological experiment. So she carefully bred cherry trees to bloom in multiple colors, and arranged to have them planted such that the trees of one color would spell out the name of some other color. You know, to test the Stroop effect.

However, the instructions (which were, admittedly, odd) weren't transmitted to the workers (all starving underpaid grad students) effectively, so the groups of various colored cherry trees were planted such that the colors matched the names, completely invalidating her experiment.

She's now the Stroop drupe group blooper girl, Stroop drupe blooper girl, Stroop drupe blooper girl...

She now focuses on Anglo-Saxon royalty.

Student: how long is the test?

My Teacher: about 28 cm.

As a teacher my students often ask, "How long is the test"

I hold my hands about 12 inches apart and say "about this long."

Can I join the club?

So today my english teacher was going to test how much vocab we memorized, for the SAT exam if you're wondering, and he asked one student how many did he memorize. The guy answered saying about 300. The teacher replied what can you do with just 300, And then i couldn't hold it and replied "A movie"

Teacher: The test will be on Wednesday.

Student: What is the test on.

Me: Its on Wednesday.

Overheard in Chemistry Class

Student 1: Are there going to be any titration problems on the final?

Student 2: The professor said there wouldn't be any difficult ones because of the last test covered it.

Student 1: Thanks goodness because I'm only good at basic ones