Start I Puns

Go ahead, prove me wrong

Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...

I am not very flexible.

Nothing too fancy, but they fit the bill

But I just can't get into the swing of things

But I found I was always playing ketchup

Tomorrow

Sometimes I fumble when switching between chords on a guitar, but it’s just A Minor inconvenience.

It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.

Sadly, I could never get my jokes to land, and just kept crashing and burning on stage.

Our slogan would be, “The only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”

I haven't botany

Oh..... for fucks sake.

Good players are hard to find.

Dad: “First, ask me if I care. I’ll give you a clue, it starts with the letter ‘N’”

but everyone was occupied

Now he’s 65 and I don’t know where he is.

Then everybody got it.

They’re really good carriers

I dig.

I think that’s a stretch.

‪I wonder who is There and why do I keep getting his emails!‬

I'll call it "Mullet Over"

So customers at the dealerships can leave in a Huff.

That's how eye roll

But then I realized that’s just nuts...

But that would defeat the whole porpoise.

Now I've got a dead battery and a bruised rib.

It came up with a couple thousand matches.

Because that's how I roll.

She told me she doesn't see them catching on.

I ran

I got 48,500 matches

One who is master at his craft is selected sexually by women to become the father.

She’s not really Inuit

To stop procrastinating.

I think it would take off

So that i can get a lead on an idea

He replies “I know, this sub is full of reposts”

I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.

...but I just have too much on my plate right now.

I decided it was too depressing.

Knock knock

Who’s there

....

Much like any other bus driver.

It’s my induction day.

It's called Parking Son's disease.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

They’re getting very holey

...I'll call it "Pottyfy".

I'm going to dye a loan.

It's been two weeks and I don't know how to get home

Breakfast of champinions

It’s an untapped market.

The business never took off.

"Chowder you guys doing today? Miso sorry for the puns, what can I get ‎phở you, brother?"

Me: The station... You can do it. Just stay on the right track

"Then you’ll have a match."

He says, “I’m applying the turn-a-cut!”

It's poultry in motion!

It's gonna be called The Space Girls

He was a bald faced liar.

GrandPAW

Aiketo

I’m past caring.

I'll call it the urine nation

It’s a stable business.

I said, “it’ll be 0-0.”

Only if you call it "All The Shingle Ladies"

It will be called the Anti-vacs Movement

He pulls out a handheld plastic device and says “Sorry kiddo, I left my Stud Finder on.”

I have to park at the top hill every time, and when I’m ready to go again, I push it down the hill to start

He said none that I can think of...they mostly start with gas.

I said, “ That sounds like.....a big step.”

We’re calling it ‘Spanx for the Mammaries’

It's a place where you can crack open a cold one with the boys.

Dad: From the Bellginning, son

I’ll try harder in 2018.

... But good players are hard to find.

I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same. Then you’ll have a match."

I got 48,500 matches

"Then you’ll have a match."

I got 48,500 matches.

"Then you’ll have a match!"