What did my doctor tell me after checking my blood test for spelling errors?

He told me it was Typo Negative

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/yourpaljenkins
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 07 2020
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 607
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/King_Arthur24
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 06 2021
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Darn spell check
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 75
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cparara1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 10 2019
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The man who invented the spell check died today...

May he rust in piss.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ProjectOcoee
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 17 2018
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Alexa, check my spelling
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ketchups92
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 07 2019
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Son: "Hey dad, can you spell check my essay?"

Dad: "c-h-e-c-k m-y e-s-s-a-y"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 248
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheSuicideMachines
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 24 2015
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Social Distancing Pickup Lines
  • If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
  • Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
  • Can't spell virus without U and I.
  • Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
  • I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
  • Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
  • Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.

credit: some facebook post i saw.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shamblingman
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 22 2020
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Dad on spell check

Me: "I think spell check has ruined my ability to spell carefully."

Dad: "C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y"

Ughhhh daaaaaadddd

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/joesilvahhh
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22 2014
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This is increvable!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Asmor
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 22 2018
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What kind of fire leaves a room damp?

A humidifire.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/marvinli
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13 2019
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[grocery store] Ok, milk...check, eggs...check, tomatoes...check.

โ€œSir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 30 2018
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What is a bad wizardโ€™s favourite computer program?

Spell-check

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SeekretTheRPGAddict
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 27 2020
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When you're in Australia and you finish eating at a restaurant....
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mr-gem-524
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 13 2017
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What do you do when you are board?

You get nailed

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 05 2020
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A rope a walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign, says "Can't you read?! No Ropes allowed". The rope leaves the bar, ties himself into a bow and messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender says, " ain't you that rope again"?! The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed not"!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/goodboyBill
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2015
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I bought a book of magic tricks. Itโ€™s badly written and none of the tricks work.

I guess the magician writer didnโ€™t use spell check.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Trtlman
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2019
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You know what they say

Make no mitsake

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/arod8305
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08 2019
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A two step survival guide if you are stuck on a desserted island.
  1. Check the spelling.

  2. If correct, grab a spoon.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 42
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 14 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโ€™t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? โ€œMy Fare, Ladyโ€.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physicianโ€™s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


โ€œWhatโ€™s purple and 5000 miles long?โ€ โ€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ€


Every calendarโ€™s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โ€œFour bucks,โ€ says the bartender. โ€œPut it on my bill.โ€


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโ€™s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle canโ€™t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 25 2017
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I made a dad joke.

First of all sorry for any spelling or grammar errors.

My friend had a bad pain in his right shoulder. He went to the female doctor who did all the things doctors do.

I waited him outside because I was driving, and I waited for a about 30 minutes.

Finally he was done and we were ready to go home. I asked him how it went and he said to me that the doctor is really nice and good looking and that she was all over him, checking the arm, shoulder and the back, joking that she wanted him.

And I jokingly said on english "She want's the D", he said yea dude and smiled and I continued "Diagnose".

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Siziph
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 17 2016
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My dad had a stroke a couple months ago.

He made a full recovery but had a spell last night and fell a few times from low blood pressure. He said his butt was sore so he was going to check it in the mirror. He said "I looked and it looks like I cracked my butt......"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SMYTAITY
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 31 2015
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