What did my doctor tell me after checking my blood test for spelling errors?

He told me it was Typo Negative

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourpaljenkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 607
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Darn spell check
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cparara1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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The man who invented the spell check died today...

May he rust in piss.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Alexa, check my spelling
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ketchups92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Son: "Hey dad, can you spell check my essay?"

Dad: "c-h-e-c-k m-y e-s-s-a-y"

πŸ‘︎ 248
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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Social Distancing Pickup Lines
  • If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
  • Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
  • Can't spell virus without U and I.
  • Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
  • I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
  • Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
  • Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.

credit: some facebook post i saw.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamblingman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Dad on spell check

Me: "I think spell check has ruined my ability to spell carefully."

Dad: "C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y"

Ughhhh daaaaaadddd

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joesilvahhh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
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This is increvable!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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What kind of fire leaves a room damp?

A humidifire.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marvinli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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[grocery store] Ok, milk...check, eggs...check, tomatoes...check.

β€œSir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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What is a bad wizard’s favourite computer program?

Spell-check

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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When you're in Australia and you finish eating at a restaurant....
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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What do you do when you are board?

You get nailed

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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A rope a walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign, says "Can't you read?! No Ropes allowed". The rope leaves the bar, ties himself into a bow and messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender says, " ain't you that rope again"?! The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed not"!
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodboyBill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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I bought a book of magic tricks. It’s badly written and none of the tricks work.

I guess the magician writer didn’t use spell check.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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You know what they say

Make no mitsake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arod8305
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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A two step survival guide if you are stuck on a desserted island.
  1. Check the spelling.

  2. If correct, grab a spoon.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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I made a dad joke.

First of all sorry for any spelling or grammar errors.

My friend had a bad pain in his right shoulder. He went to the female doctor who did all the things doctors do.

I waited him outside because I was driving, and I waited for a about 30 minutes.

Finally he was done and we were ready to go home. I asked him how it went and he said to me that the doctor is really nice and good looking and that she was all over him, checking the arm, shoulder and the back, joking that she wanted him.

And I jokingly said on english "She want's the D", he said yea dude and smiled and I continued "Diagnose".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Siziph
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2016
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My dad had a stroke a couple months ago.

He made a full recovery but had a spell last night and fell a few times from low blood pressure. He said his butt was sore so he was going to check it in the mirror. He said "I looked and it looks like I cracked my butt......"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SMYTAITY
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2015
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