For those of you that play Wordle, today's solution was not easy.
Easy is not a five letter word
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︎ Dec 14 2022
My landlord yelled at me today because my heating bill is absolutely insanely high and that heβs going to have to come over soon to discuss a solution.
I told him βFine, my door is always open.β
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︎ Oct 02 2022
Does your toddler ever fight you when itβs nap time? Here is a solution for you. Threaten them with jailβ¦
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︎ Dec 20 2022
What do you call a cleaning solution designed for dolphins?
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︎ Jan 25 2023
When is alcohol ever a solution?
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︎ Dec 21 2022
I sometimes snore at night and found out my wife has a solution
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︎ Dec 18 2022
Gotta improvise
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︎ Dec 31 2022
Alcohol might not be the answer but...
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︎ Jan 14 2023
Aging is hard
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︎ Dec 13 2022
Tequila may not fix your life
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︎ Jan 14 2023
My high school chemistry teacher used to tell this to every class of his:
Teacher: Kids, never throw sodium chloride at anyone else.
Me: Why not?
Teacher: Thatβs a salt.
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︎ Dec 23 2022
What do you do with a sick chemist?
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︎ Sep 29 2022
I tried thinking of good science jokes
But I realized they Argon
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︎ Jan 15 2023
My son has been eating electrical cords but I found a solution
I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.
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︎ Mar 24 2022
My wife taking out her contact lenses:
"I need solution"
Me: "Solution for what?"
Wife: "My contact lenses"
Me: "Wear glasses!"
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︎ Jan 13 2023
Solve problems as a team to be a part of the solution.
Otherwise you would be a precipitate.
Just saw another Chem joke and had to throw my reagent into the mix.
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︎ Aug 23 2022
I went to the bookstore yesterday, and I saw a book titled "how to solve 50% of your problems"
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︎ Jan 03 2023
I didnβt think vodka could help my problems.
But, it was worth a shot.
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︎ Dec 11 2022
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
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︎ Nov 27 2022
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
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︎ Dec 29 2022
I set a goal for myself at the beginning of the year that I would save 10,000 dollars in this year
Now itβs the end of the year, I found that I am only 17,000 dollars away from my goal.
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︎ Dec 17 2022
When mixing chemicals always stir them with your finger:
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︎ Nov 30 2022
I accidentally used an expired solution on my glasses
And now they are expired to watch
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︎ Jul 19 2022
In order to save money, I decided to stop using tires on my bicycle.
So far, the idea hasnβt gained any traction.
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︎ Nov 15 2022
A lot is said...
A lot is said about the famous mutant Telepath, Professor X...
Less is said about his incredibly inquisitive younger brother, Professor Y.
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︎ Nov 28 2022
My gun wouldn't fire properly so I had to check the manual
I found a solution in the troubleshooting section.
(Thank you Scott Reeder for this gem.)
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︎ Jan 24 2023
Why is alcohol prohibited in Calculus Classes?
It's illegal to drink and derive.
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︎ Oct 27 2022
So my wife was cleaning out our sons bedroom when she found..
a lot of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked me what should we do. I told her Iβm no expert, but I certainly wouldnβt spank him.
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︎ Nov 19 2022
Did you hear about the guy who got his saline solution mixed up with his LSD?
He got a real contact high.
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︎ Jun 01 2022
People say alcohol canβt solve all your problemsβ¦
But vodka is a clear solution.
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︎ Dec 22 2022
I took off my glasses to wipe them, but when I tried to spray cleaning solution on them,
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︎ Mar 25 2022
A modern solution.
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︎ Jun 20 2021
I lost all my money at the auction.
I couldn't stop my more-bid curiosity.
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︎ Oct 12 2022
I think I found a solution thatβs better than viagra
Turn off the cold water supply to your bath tub and take a bath. You wouldnβt believe how hot it makes me.
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︎ Jan 08 2022
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos.
Sometimes she just really needs a shoulder to crayon
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︎ May 31 2022
What do call 2 gorillas who share an Amazon account?
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︎ Jul 08 2022
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
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︎ Sep 27 2022
Growing up we didn't have a lot of money. I had to use a hand-me-down Calculator with no multiplication symbol on it.
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︎ Mar 10 2022
My son doesn't want to sit on the stool because apparently it's too hard
So i gave him some stool softener
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︎ May 26 2022
What is the Irish solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict?
>! A two stout solution !<
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︎ Dec 19 2021
I was going to post a chemistry based dad joke here
But all the good ones argon
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︎ Aug 22 2022
Southern belle solution...
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︎ May 14 2021
Why Is Beer Never Served at a Math Party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
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︎ Sep 03 2022
We were so poor, every Christmas Eve my old man would go outside and shoot his gun,
then come in and tell us kids Santa Claus had committed suicide.
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︎ Aug 16 2022
My car broke down and I accidentally called tech support instead of a mechanic
It worked out though. It turns out all I had to do was close all the windows and restart.
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︎ May 14 2022
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
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︎ Jul 30 2022
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