Shop assistant fought off armed robber with his labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm...
Man: Do you do fishcakes?
Fishmonger: no, I'm afraid not, sorry.
Man: Ah, that's a shame - it's his birthday today
A woman walks into a music shop and finds an album for 95 cents and pays for it with a dollar
A man came home from the pet shop with loads of geese.
He only went for a gander
What do you call a cake shop with no-one it?
Repair shop with a sense of humor
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
My wife insists that I go with her whenever she shops for igneous rock containing quartz and feldspar.
Sometimes I think she takes me for granite.
What did the dad say as he walked out of the donut shop with a dozen glazed?
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a cod under his arm...
He says to the bloke behind the counter,
“Do you do fishcakes?”
The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.
“Yeah mate.”
Customer points to the cod under his arm.
“Better make him one then mate, it’s his birthday.”
What did the wig shop owner shout at the thief as they ran out of the store with one of the hair pieces?
Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeé for that!!
Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.
The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.
The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...
They really need a hair traffic controller.
On a photo shop battle about a deer with a spider web between its antlers
Cheesy pizza puns needed for pizza shop with hidden cocktail bar out the back
imgur.com/aROdppY
Went to the barber shop with my friends
Unfortunately we all left alone... we all decided to get a crew cut.
I was working in the shop with my dad and asked him to hand me the 1/2 inch wrench.
Here you go...have to say though son it's a lot longer than A half inch long.groan.
What do you call a Canadian coffee shop with the lights off?
My parents and I passed a used tires shop with a huge pile out front
I said "Wow, he's sure set for retirement"
I was walking through a camping shop with my son and I told him to be quiet.
He said, "But why?"
I whispered, "Because there's sleeping bags over there."
Did you hear about the guy who had a confrontation with the Vietnamese sandwich shop owner?
He kept telling him “go ahead, I don’t care, ban me!”
need help with a pun - Tire Shop burns down
I need a pun (or 4) about a tire shop burning down. There's got to be one there but I'm too thick to see it right now.
Everyone in our company had to make due with three person volleyball teams at the company picnic. Everyone but the shop supervisors.
My friend works in a bird rehabilitation place. She put a video of her with an actual bird of prey in the gift shop on Instagram and said "Shopping is for the birds". So I sent her a message saying "I bet it's favorite store is Birdbath and beyond".
GF: You're no fun to shop with because you have no patience.
Me: That's because I'm not a doctor.
I chuckled. She didn't.
Sandwich shop employee asked what kind of egg I want (without specifying white or with yolk)
"Chicken, please"
My family had to respond to her confused look, assuring her I was pulling her leg.
Note: not a dad yet, but I'm training to be one.
Coffee shop with dad
me: I think ill have an iced coffee
Dad: well you wouldn't want a MEAN coffee would you?
-_▪ thanks dad.
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
An Ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants
“Euripides?” says the tailor.
“Yeah, Eumenides?” replies the man.
A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor shop with a torn pair of pants.
“Euripides?” Asks the tailor
“Yeah. Eumenides?” Replies the man
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a pair of torn pants.
"Euripides?" says the tailor.
"Yeah, Eumenides?" replies the man.
An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor shop with a torn pair of pants. The tailor asks, “Euripides?” The man replies, “Yes. Eumenides?”
An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
“Euripides?” asks the tailor.
“Yeah. Eumenides?” replies the man.
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