After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:

β€œAre you all Wright?!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fadedmemento
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a regular backpack in a skydiver’s plane?

A perish-ute

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a WW1 plane say when it stubs it’s toe?

Mother Fokker

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCCreeper844
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Jordan Peterson’s plane crash?

Because the left wing was completely destroyed!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If I flew a plane in the Caribbeanβ€˜s

Would I be a pilot of the Caribbean’s?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
While I was ripping a big juicy fart on the plane I figured out my 4yr old son’s spirit animal...

Scapegoat

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s my divorce papers.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DespacitoC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between the largest plane and the largest planet

1 T

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteThots
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My 7 year old daughter's contribution: What kind of cookies do they have at the airport?

Plane ones.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clutchguy84
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a yen to be creative this weekend...

so I crafted a large numeral in the back garden. I chopped, sawed, planed, sanded, and painted that number till it looked amazing. My neighbour looked over the fence and enviously stated β€œNice one!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy asked me, β€œso what brings you to the city?”

I said, β€œI dunno a plane? Sometimes I drive”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samander19
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....

Plane english

My 6yo laid this one on me and I hadn't heard it before so thought it might be enjoyed here

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmyhiggo
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently learned that two wrongs don’t make a right

But two rights make a plane

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't know why people are afraid of flying...

Most crashes happen at ground level.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A family is flying to Japan on vacation. The son ask "dad, are we there yet" the dad replies "not yet son"

A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I was gonna make a joke about airline food...

...but it was too plane for my taste

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What would you say to a bad pilot?

"Ex-plane yourself."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot?

He wanted to reach a different plane of existence

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxSaint_JimmyxX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was seen doing something curious on a flight to Europe

Before boarding the plane, he threw some salt off the flight bridge

After they landed, he tossed some paprika

On the next leg, some nutmeg and a pinch of cumin.

The flight crew saw the combination, there was only one conclusion they could make...

He was a seasoned traveler

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Comedy Routine

So, I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner the other day. It was just gathering dust!

What kind of bagel can fly? A plane one!

I went to a graveyard the other day, it was really crowded. I figure people are dying to get in.

Didja hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize!

What do you call a pointless pachyderm? An Irrelepahnt!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!

Ever hear about the restaurant on the moon? No atmosphere at all.

And to end it all: "I bet if I gave you some thyme you could mustard a response to this complete a-salt on language, but for now we're just beefing around!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WyvernLord123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Low flying airplane noises

When do we want it

Neeeooooooow

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hamburgler007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
It's the pilot's fault.

See a story about a pilot didn't remember his correct destination. Look at my 19 year old son and say "He just plane forgot!"
His eyes rolled like that boulder in Indiana Jones

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jmac0585
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
SOS! SOS!

A pilot ejected himself from a plane. He was suspended for a week.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The best place to hide something is at an airport

You'd be hiding something in plane site.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsh921
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wehavechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...

Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.

So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmohon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandson’s dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?

Plane chips!

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yanual3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Tired of the cold, Superman traded the Fortress of Solitude for a house in Italy...

He invited Lois Lane to visit. Her plane was late, and she called the house to ask directions. He answered and told her:

"Take the last train to Clark's villa, and I'll meet you at the station."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPossible
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of crisp favour really took off?

The plane flavor!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwatBadgerExpress
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the LGBTQ pilot refuse to fly 747s?

He said he prefers bi-planes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If you think about it, 9/11 wasn't an inside job at all

The planes flew in from the outside

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbiefl2001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
First experience with flying.

The first time my daughter was on a plane, she looked out and saw the ground crew, and asked what they did. I proudly said that they are the "monbacks". When the plane pushes back from the gate they holler to the pilot "MON BACK....MON BACK".

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoltharjoemama
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the Boeing 747 contains about 6 million parts?

That's a plane fact.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Told this tasteless dad joke to my daughter yesterday.

Helping my daughter with her remote-learning geometry schoolwork.

"Ok dad, imagine you are in a room with a ceiling and four walls. How many planes intersect the floor?"

"Well if that room was is in the Twin Towers, two."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CiDirkona
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The King of Spain is now quarantined on his jet

The Reign in Spain will stay mainly on his plane.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I’ve ever flown high...

I said β€œIsn’t that how planes work?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boobaloo222
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What paper works best for origami aircraft?

Plane paper

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kerrangutan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
airplane pun

I was going to make a joke on a broken plane

but it never took off

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ocrebb776
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t ever make fun of 9/11

It’s just plane wrong

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazedmemes101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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