I love 90’s rock; I was listening to some Pearl Jam and realized
that it doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.
I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off.
I guess I was stoned off my ass.
I was at the beach and saw some kids throwing rocks at birds.
When I got closer I could hear them say "Leave no Tern unstoned!
Me and my agronomist friends started a new 80s rock cover band
we call ourselves the dire substraits
Who's a green herb that revolutionised rock and roll?
My friend was on a hike and the trail was covered in rocks and boulders when he started feeling a sharp pain in his kidneys.
He started to feel better after he passed the first stone.
rock and roll puns are so lit.
Which rock group has four members and doesn't sing?
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
Terrorist walks into a bar and orders a vodka on the rocks
Bartender picks up a piece of ice, and asks "you like ice?"
Terrorist says "Yes, but more than one would be nice"
Bartender grabs another piece of ice and asks "so, you like ices?"
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.
The Rock announced that he, his wife, and their 2 daughters have recovered from Covid.
They first suspected they had it when no one could smell what he was cooking.
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
Why did Drake dig up and mash potatoes with a rock at the same time?
Son, I love you, and I think you rock
But I promise I will never take you for Granite again
Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"
Edit: get consent people
"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"
Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?
My deaf friend: heard immunity
Ducks love raw potatoes and will attempt to unearth them with their bill. Enthusiastically mistaking rocks for potatoes can cause damage leaving them...
My wife insists that I go with her whenever she shops for igneous rock containing quartz and feldspar.
Sometimes I think she takes me for granite.
Went for a walk with my kid and he picked up a rock, asking me "what kind of rock it is."
I identified it as Leaverite.
As in "put that rock down and leaverite there!"
Went to the Police Station yesterday and started singing Rock a bye baby.
The Sargent stopped me and said, "No sir, we need an alibi."
My dad trained his dog to sniff rocks and bark when it found a fossil.
It's a trained barkeologist.
I have a very well groomed garden ornament that perpetually rocks back and forth in perfect rhythm
What is red, green and eats rocks?
>!The red-green rock eater!<
Walked by a house with a broken window and a sign in the window saying "don't rock the boat".
Looks like somebody rocked your house
Geology rocks and all but Geography is where it’s at
I collect rocks, and recently I found a rock that was 1760 yards long
My wife is into geology and rock formations.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/8FMv6d1
What's the difference between a moon rock and a earth rock?
Rock and roll. . .
Or what ever comes first ;)
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
My mother told me that the only musicians more promiscuous than rock and roll artists were jazz musicians.
Because they were always having sax.
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
I asked my son, "Hey, what do you call a rubber loop that you put rocks and bread into?" He shrugged and said he had no idea, so I answered…
I was doing some work in the garden and tripped over a rock.
Damn it, I soiled myself.
I never expected the vintage movie I was watching to end with everyone doing a dance popular in the early 60s which is inspired by rock and roll.
I rolled a rock down the hill with an elastic band around it, and It hit a passerby.
My rock band, the rolling stones, was an instant hit.
What has nine arms and rocks?
What's big, red, and eats rocks?
A big red rock-eater! - My neice
If I’m at a rock concert and give the merch table a $100 bill, would the cashier be Breaking Benjamin?
[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock
Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled “TubaChristmas in July,” which had “Hallelujah” by Pentatonix, “Carol of the Bells,” “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and “Have Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.”
This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, “Paint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).
I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.
What do you call a book about sand, small rocks, and smelly rocks?
Litter-ature
Sorry I’m not sorry ;)
What rock group has only four members and none of them sing?
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
What’s big, red and eats rocks.
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